21 Things That Happen When You Stop Eating Carbs

The bread is the life :(

1. You become intimidated by the fact that you’re basically cutting out an entire food group.

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2. You panic when you realise how many foods have carbs in them.




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4. But you are mildly scandalised by the concept of being allowed to eat peanut butter and bacon.

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5. You wonder what you’re going to have for breakfast if you can’t have toast or cereal.

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6. You figure pretty much peanut butter on bacon.

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7. Despite this amazing breakfast, for a while you cannot believe how much you miss carbohydrates.

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8. Everyone around you seems to be eating a croissant wrapped in a pie folded into a GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH.

Hasbro / tumblr.com
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9. Dinners out take forever because of your complicated instructions for the waiter (“Burger, no bun, please”).

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10. People at work think you’re weird when you take to carrying nuts and vegetables about your person, much like a squirrel.

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11. After some time, as impossible as it sounds, you even grow tired of peanut butter and bacon (and meat and cheese and eggs).

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12. Briefly you fall into the trap of buying low-carb products in bulk, despite their exorbitant price and the fact that they smell of cat pee.

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13. Then you come to your senses and go online to search for healthy low-carb recipes that actually taste good (and don’t smell like cat pee).

Linda Wagner / lindawagner.net
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14. The humble cauliflower starts to blow your mind.

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15. You learn to make egg-fried cauliflower ‘rice’, buttery garlic cauliflower mash, and even cauliflower ‘cous cous’.

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16. Soon you’re a low-carb NINJA, whipping up courgette ‘spaghetti’, steak salads, and delicious almond bread on the regular.

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17. The day you make the perfect cauliflower pizza crust is literally the best day of your life.

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18. And if the pizza aficionados in your life claim that it’s “better than Domino’s,” you MAY shed a tear of pride.

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19. Well done, you! You have mastered the dark arts of low-carb!

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20. You’re still kind of annoying in restaurants, though.

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21. And, when you go back to carbs, everyone had better give you a moment alone with your first plate of chips.

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Robyn Wilder is a staff writer for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
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