What this girl said is exactly how I thought of myself the last two years of high school. I was in so much pain with no real reason. No one suspected. No one around me had any idea how much pain I was in. Even now, I have only told my mother and then sugarcoated for her because I wasn’t sure she could handle the truth. I believed - in my heart - that I was a terrible, evil person and I fantasized about killing myself. At one point, I even looked to see how much tylenol we had in the house because I was ready to just chuck it all (fortunately, there wasn’t enough tylenol to kill myself). One of the reasons I never reached out is because I knew that once I said something, the shit would hit the fan. I would suddenly be taken out of school, possibly placed in an inpatient facility. My life would then be 10 times worse than before. I am now in my 40s. I’ve got a decent life. Is it perfect? No. But just living through every day teaches you more and more to not give a shit what others think. For any young person who is having these thoughts: No, you are not evil. You are not a bad person because you make mistakes. Stop expecting perfection. You are perfect the way you are - faults, foibles, mistakes and all. Just know that school - particularly high school - can be a punishing experience that can exacerbate depression and anxiety. Keep breathing. Put one foot in front of the other and focus on just getting through.