Your top fits me like a glove!
For an elephant.
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“It has the consistency of like, dried foreskin.”
Don’t Kung Pao my Chow Mein.
“I hope that’s it otherwise I’m getting diabetes from all the sh*t I’ve just eaten from your country.”
Isn’t that like, paying for your friends?
Who’s the most popular tweeter in YOUR state?
For all the #snapchamps out there.
“I’ve always wondered how mermaids pee.” Download Whisper for more mermaid secrets.