34 Things You Could Watch On TV On Sunday That Are Not The Super Bowl

What's football?

Yes, two teams are going head to head in what I hear is a pretty important game on Sunday. But for those of us who give no fucks, there are still numerous glorious viewing options that aren't the big game.

20th Century Fox / Via funnyand.com

Here are the alternative "bowls," TV show marathons, and awesome movies on Sunday, presented in chronological order. (All times are ET.)

1. Law & Order (TNT)

Getty Images/Hulton Archive

3 a.m.–6 p.m.

What better way to start your Super Bowl regular old Sunday than with the original series that spawned one of TV's most successful franchises ever? (And 14 hours worth of it, at that!)

2. The Walking Dead (AMC)

AMC

10 a.m.–6 a.m.

AMC is hosting what it's referring to as the "Zombie Bowl Marathon" on Sunday, which means Seasons 1 and 2 of The Walking Dead, beginning with the pilot, will be airing in their entirety! It's a great opportunity to remember why you fell in love with this apocalyptic series...and Rick Grimes.

3. B.A.P.S. (VH1)

New Line Cinema / Via motoofoto.tumblr.com

10 a.m.

Because who doesn't want to watch Halle Berry livin' large and takin' charge? Nothing could deflate the glory that is Nisi and Mickey...not even the New England Patriots.

4. Will & Grace (WE)

Warner Bros. Television / Via buzzfeed.com

10 a.m.–4 p.m.

You can watch six hours of the beloved Debra Messing and Eric McCormack comedy, including episodes featuring Patrick Dempsey, Ed Burns, Minnie Driver, Taye Diggs, and even Elton John. The mini-marathon concludes, fittingly, with the series finale. And we can all take a cue from Karen Walker (Megan Mullally) when it comes to our feelings about football.

5. Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (USA)

NBC / Via fybensler.tumblr.com

11 a.m.–11 p.m.

It wouldn't be a Sunday without an SVU marathon. You can bypass the Super Bowl easily with 12 hours of Stabler, Liv, Munch, Fin, and the very special team. DOINK DOINK!

6. The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo)

Bravo / Via realitytvgifs.tumblr.com

12 p.m.–11 p.m.

There may not be a new episode, but there will be 11 straight hours of RHOA. We'll take what we can get.

7. Kitten Bowl II (Hallmark Channel)

Marc Lemoine/Hallmark Channel

12 p.m.

Love dogs and cats? No need to choose today! The second annual feline face-off airs hours before its canine counterpart.

8. How I Met Your Mother (WGN)

CBS / Via celebuzz.com

12 p.m.–11 p.m.

There is only one way to celebrate 11 hours of one of the greatest losses of 2014...

9. Star Trek: The Next Generation (BBC America)

CBS Television Distribution via hollywood.com

12 p.m.–6 a.m.

Want to spend your entire day with Jean-Luc Picard and co.? And then wake up with them? BBC America made it so.

10. Criminal Minds (A&E)

CBS

12 p.m.–4 a.m.

If you prefer the FBI to the SVU, A&E has you covered. And if you want a small taste of the sport of the day, this 16-hour mini marathon includes a Season 5 episode featuring NFL player Greg Jennings as an evidence technician.

11. Enchanted (E!)

Walt Disney Pictures / Via whencookiesscream.tumblr.com

12 p.m.

For those who have been dreaming of a true love's kiss (and to fill the void for Grey's Anatomy fans who already miss seeing Patrick Dempsey in Seattle).

12. Purple Rain (VH1)

Warner Bros. via reactiongifs.com

12:10 p.m.

Sorry, Katy Perry and Lenny Kravitz. But how can anyone compare to the beauty that was Prince's 2007 Super Bowl halftime show? Even though we can't relive it in real time, we can watch Purple Rain on VH1 instead.

13. The Birdcage (Pop)

United Artists via pauspaus.tumblr.com

United Artists via pauspaus.tumblr.com

1:30 p.m.

Not only is The Birdcage a fantastically funny and heartwarming movie, but thanks to Albert, you now have the perfect response to someone asking you how you feel about "that call" during the Super Bowl.

14. 13 Going on 30 (FXX)

Columbia Pictures / Via mixmasterthrowdown.com

1:30 p.m.

There is nothing more athletic than the "Thriller" dance in this film. And nothing more melodious than the "Love Is a Battlefield" lip-sync.

15. She's the Man (TBS)

DreamWorks Pictures / Via notyournachos.tumblr.com

2 p.m.

Amanda Bynes does terrible drag and Channing Tatum plays the lovable oaf she befriends in this very loose modern-day adaptation of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night. Yes, this movie is awful, but in the best way.

16. Roseanne (TV Land)

ABC via mrsgrumpygills.tumblr.com

ABC via mrsgrumpygills.tumblr.com

2 p.m.–6 p.m.

Spending Super Bowl Sunday with the Queen of No Fucks is absolutely ideal.

17. How It's Made (Science Channel)

Science Channel

2 p.m.–10 p.m. on Monday

From silk to saunas to aircraft seats to surfboards to eyeshadow, this eight-hour marathon of How It's Made — aka the show everyone watches, but never talks about — promises to provide some very interesting and diverse education.

18. Puppy Bowl XI (Animal Planet)

Damian Strohmeyer/DCL

3 p.m.

The 11th annual all-star event is the first ever to divide the puppies into two teams, Team Ruff and Team Fluff, indicated by yellow and green bandanas. Check out the starting lineup here and prepare yourself for massive amounts of cute.

19. The Simpsons (FXX)

Fox via hyxenagabrielle.tumblr.com

Fox via hyxenagabrielle.tumblr.com

3:30 p.m.–7:30 p.m.

Because it wouldn't be a Sunday without Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie. This eight-episode block includes "Treehouse of Horror X," which features the voices of Lucy Lawless, Dick Clark, and Tom Arnold.

20. High School Musical trilogy (Disney Channel)

Disney Channel / Via withthebarenecessities.tumblr.com

3:45 p.m.

With the sing-along versions of High School Musical and its two follow-ups (High School Musical 2 at 5:35 p.m. and High School Musical 3 at 7:30 p.m.) airing for nearly six hours straight, it's truly crazy to me that anyone would watch anything else. Troy Bolton is the only safe bet today, people.

21. Kindergarten Cop (Pop)

Universal Pictures via reactiongifs.com

4 p.m.

When Arnold Schwarzenegger's character, undercover detective John Kimble, first arrives in his kindergarten classroom to feign being a teacher in an effort to catch a drug dealer, he screams exactly what you are thinking while listening to anyone and everyone talk about football.

22. The Blind Side (ABC Family)

Warner Bros. via girlonvervain.tumblr.com

Warner Bros. via girlonvervain.tumblr.com

Warner Bros. via girlonvervain.tumblr.com

4 p.m.

The perfect football movie for those who could care less about football. Is Michael Oher playing in this Super Bowl? you think. Then maybe I'll watch. *googles* Never mind.

23. Caddyshack (IFC)

Warner Bros. Pictures / Via its-happyhappy.tumblr.com

4:30 p.m.

Let's be real: Golf and this ridiculously funny movie starring Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, and Bill Murray are much more your speed. You know what this Super Bowl needs? Gopher infestation.

24. Shrek, Shrek 2, Shrek the Third (TBS)

DreamWorks / Via pacificrum.tumblr.com

6 p.m.

After the original movie, its first two sequels air at 8 p.m. and 10 p.m. respectively, so sit back and let yourself disappear into the land of Far Far Away. (And try not to contemplate the odd omission of 2010's saga-concluding Shrek Forever After.)

25. Fish Bowl (NatGeo Wild)

NatGeo Wild

6 p.m.

The second annual four-hour event is exactly what you think it is: fish, in a bowl, on a table, being fish. It's kind of like the Super Bowl's yule log. Very therapeutic.

26. Patch Adams (Pop)

Universal Pictures / Via rebloggy.com

6:30 p.m.

Need a good cry this Super Bowl Sunday? This movie about the man of the title who truly believed laughter was the best medicine is extra devastating now that two of its stars, Robin Williams and Philip Seymour Hoffman, are gone. Really hate yourself? You can watch it again at 8:30 p.m. (Why, Pop? WHY?)

27. Back to the Future & Back to the Future Part II (ABC Family)

Universal Pictures via giphy.com

7 p.m.

"Where we're going, we don't need roads." Watch the movie that brought us that wonderful quote and much more at 7 p.m. and then the sequel at 9:30 p.m. And thank you, ABC Family, for acknowledging that the third movie just isn't worth it.

28. Marley & Me (FXX)

20th Century Fox / Via tumblr.com

7:30 p.m.

I thought FXX was supposed to be the comedy counterpart to FX's more dramatic programming. But either I was wrong or the programmers over there have a particularly sick sense of humor. So, if Patch Adams wasn't enough for you, you can watch Marley & Me (which is airing twice as well, beginning at 10 p.m.). I hope you have as many tissues as you have Tostitos at your home today.

29. The Great British Baking Show (PBS)

PBS

8 p.m.

This is probably the greatest thing the U.K. has ever given us. If you don't know about it, or its #Bingate/baked Alaska scandal, get educated and dive in with your favorite sweet treat by your side.

30. Ghost (E!)

Paramount Pictures / Via moviesfca.tumblr.com

8 p.m.

This movie has everything: sex, horror, Whoopi Goldberg, suspense, pottery, romance, and Tony Goldwyn as an even bigger asshole than the one he plays on Scandal. It is pure perfection and if you don't see that, you in danger, girl.

31. Full House (Nickelodeon)

Warner Bros. Television / Via giphy.com

8 p.m.–10 p.m.

When you're lost out there and you're all alone, a light is waiting to carry you home. And it is the Tanners on your television screen.

32. The Help (TNT)

DreamWorks Pictures / Via whatshouldgeorgiacallme.tumblr.com

8 p.m.

Certainly not an easy thing to watch, by any means, but one well worth your while. See Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer, and Emma Stone at their finest at 8 p.m. or during the replay at 11 p.m. If you make said decision, you are as Mae Mobley says above.

33. Downton Abbey (PBS)

Masterpiece for PBS

9 p.m.

An actual new episode of a current TV favorite! Episode 5 of Downton's fifth season airs at its regular time because football cannot get in the way of this upstairs-downstairs drama. Watch a preview here.

34. Shameless (Showtime)

Showtime

9 p.m.

The Super Bowl is also not stopping Showtime's Sunday night lineup of Shameless, House of Lies at 10 p.m., and Episodes at 10:30 p.m. The Gallaghers, Galweather, and Matt LeBlanc are not your average Americans, and that is why we love them.

And for those of you who want to tune back to NBC, a new episode of The Blacklist airs immediately after the Super Bowl, at about 10:15 p.m. Happy viewing!