1. “Toy Story”:
Buzz Lightyear spends the movie believing he’s not a toy, but he still freezes whenever people are around. What do you really believe, Buzz?
2. “Back to the Future”:
Why doesn’t Marty’s mom recognize her son as the guy who…you know…she tried to sleep with years before?! I feel like it would be pretty hard to forget someone who came into your life for a week and completely changed it.
Despite paper being the most valuable resource, the characters smoke cigarettes, which we can only assume are rolled with paper, the whole movie. Also, if almost the entire Earth is water, why is everyone so damn dirty?
4. “The Santa Clause”:
The parents in the movie don’t believe in Santa…so where do they think the gifts under their trees come from each year?
5. “Indiana Jones Raiders and the Raiders of the Lost Ark”:
Indiana Jones is totally unnecessary to the film’s events. Without Jones, the Nazis still would have gone to Nepal, they still would have killed Marion, they still would have taken the amulet to the map room, and they still would have found the arc. And you know what? They still would have killed themselves at the end.
Don’t feed the gremlins after midnight? IT’S ALWAYS AFTER MIDNIGHT SOMEWHERE!
Aladdin’s first wish is to be a prince, but he spends most of the movie freaking out about how Jasmine can’t marry a prince (despite him just wishing to be one) and whether or not to use his final wish to free the genie or make himself a prince (AGAIN). So, did the genie’s magic just not work? What is going on here? What was his first wish for?
Also, why didn’t he just let Jasmine use the genie and get more wishes?
8. “Karate Kid”:
If the main rule is “No kicks to the face,” how does Daniel win with a kick…to the face?
9. “Mean Girls”:
Why does everyone think Cady made the burn book despite her being a new student who would never have all those pictures of other students? Tina? A little help?
10. “Home Alone”:
THERE IS NO WAY KEVIN GOT THAT SLED THROUGH THE DOOR. Also, if the phones aren’t working, how does Kevin order pizza???
12. “Jurassic Park”:
Why is the T. rex level with the fence when it breaks through and starts to attack, but when it starts pushing the car over the edge, there’s a huge hundred-foot drop?
13. “Air Bud”:
Dogs can’t play basketball. COME ON, NOW. Ridiculous.
- The gun allegedly used by an undocumented immigrant to shoot and kill a woman on a San Francisco pier last week may have been stolen from a federal agent.
- Fox has secured the rights to make a movie about the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling on marriage equality.
- Subway has suspended Jared Fogle, the weight-loss guy from their commercials, due to an FBI investigation.