Do you think he likes me likes me?
Harry Potter is not a children’s book.
“No, you do not look fat.”
I’m awkward, you’re weird, together we’re a nightmare.
“Pull this car over, I have to pee!”
TBH, it’s more boob holding than you’d imagine.
You’re lucky we’re related and I have to love you.
Who says November is too early to get excited about Christmas?
“No, I’m not seeing anyone.”
Sorry, I just made this awkward.
Just don’t make me look like Whoopi Goldberg.
Sorry, I only drink Ashley Chai.
Always the groomsman. Never the groom. This is what guys think bridesmaids are like.
That’s not what a fork is used for.
“Hi, can I get nine extra towels? I’m making a fort.”
No one knows you like your BFF.
“It has the consistency of like, dried foreskin.”
“I hope that’s it otherwise I’m getting diabetes from all the sh*t I’ve just eaten from your country.”