Time to update your wishlist.
We dreamed big this year. Maybe a little ~too~ big.
Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.
If you happen to have a spare million or two.
Slightly NSFW, as any good ugly Christmas sweater should be.
That includes decorations, gifts, and general holiday cheer.
Teens are our greatest natural resource.
Bonus: Most of these are available on Prime and they’re all under $100. (Even the gadget that lets you call your lost keys!)
You can’t spell “Merry Christmas!” without “ban all men.”
Brb, gotta go become three inches tall and edible.
If you need me I’ll be sleeping and not getting trampled.
Shhh, every adult. Shhhhhhhhhhhh.
Because pets appreciate you more than humans ever will.
These are cuter, cheaper, and way more meaningful than the store-bought alternative.
Never change, stock photos. (There is a picture of a butt in this post because why wouldn’t there be.)