1. I'm coming into this episode really excited because I just remembered how the last episode ended with the mask.
2. Jesus Christ these text message displays are bad.
3. I. Marlene we know you read these lists... PLEASE CHANGE THEM.
4. Oh shit I'd totally forgotten about the ~Byron mystery~.
5. There's something really creepy about Byron, even though I know he's just there to be a semi-boring parental figure.
6. OH PLOT TWIST, BYRON AND ELLA ARE BACK TOGETHER.
7. I now totally believe in true love. *cough*
8. OK... Byron and Ella, we need to talk.
9. Why the HELL would you sneak around your adult daughter?
10. She had a torturer sneaking around her life for five years?!
11. You don't think being more upfront might be healthier?!
12. You have caused her so much anxiety, sort out your damn life.
13. OK... I love that Hanna is happy and has a great boyfriend… but these two just have no chemistry. 😔
14. And I don't care about anything that they're talking about.
15. Oh great, Hanna just got another emoji-riddled message.
16. So we're still pretending this text format is OK. Cool.
17. Tbh Ash Benzo looks like she's over this whole fucking show.
18. Oh here we go, Spaleb is still a thing.
19. "I could get used to this" - ugh I can't.
20. Caleb just told Spencer to go to the police. OMG. LISTEN TO HIM!!!!
21. FINALLY SOMEONE IS BEING THE VOICE OF REASON.
22. Spencer: "A could be anyone… anywhere…" Caleb: "Cut the crap it's Sara Harvey."
23. Did Spencer really just say that using emojis are easier than typing?
24. I literally have to spend five minutes scrolling everytime I want to use an emoji that isn't the heart or the smiley because I can never remember what the hell category it's in.
25. I hate how much I kinda ship Spencer and Caleb.
26. Emily's actually lost the plot.
27. But then again, if I had been harassed for five years, my dad died, I blew all his cash and I decided to harvest my eggs to make money, I'd be pretty batshit insane too.
28. Emily you're like 23, it's not weird to call your friends' parents by their first names.
29. Like it'd probably weird to still be saying Ms Marin at this point.
30. Also it's a lot of fun to say "Pam".
31. She's just such a "Pam" tbh.
32. Why is Emily so worked up about Ali?
33. Please let's not make Emison a thing again.
34. I can't even get started on how much I hate that.
35. Hmm… do we think it's possible that Sara is lying about the extent of her injury?
36. Just saying, that wouldn't be out of the realms of possibility.
37. Pretty Little ~LIARS~.
38. It's right there in the title FFS.
39. Remember when Jenna was "blind"?
40. Remember when Mona was "dead"?
41. Remember when Emily was "straight"?
43. I literally could not care any less about Byron and Ella.
44. But Aria is being so fucking shady.
45. Yes Aria, your mom is trying to allude to the fact she was with your dad that night, and they were doing the sex.
46. At least now we know that Byron didn't kill Charlotte.
47. LOL JOKES we don't know ANYTHING for sure in this show.
48. At this stage any theory is plausible.
49. So Ashley took the security footage drive and destroyed it.
50. She did Hanna a huge favour and now Hanna's being a massive bitch about it.
51. Wtf Hanna?
52. Also… where the fuck did Pastor Ted go?
53. Weren't he and Ashley engaged?
54. OMG someone's about to come into the house when Ashley leaves. OMG.
55. Oh. It's just Hanna.
56. And Aria. Looking for the fucking drive.
57. GUYS. It's obviously going to be in the button jar.
58. Um… why is this search so food-oriented?
59. Did you even look in a wardrobe?
60. Nice throwback though, looking in the lasagna sheets.
61. Classic season one mems.
62. What a waste of food though.
63. All that poor, scattered cereal.
64. My fave is when they think they know who is sending the texts.
65. You dumb bitches, honestly.
66. Why is Charlotte's doctor, who we haven't seen in like five episodes, suddenly at Emily's door?
67. Are he and Ali finally banging?
68. I mean… we know that they're going to get married so I guess it's only a matter of time?
69. But honestly he needs to gtfo.
70. So… someone who wasn't Spencer and wasn't Yvonne set up this meeting between them?
71. Why though?
72. WHO WANTS TO KEEP HUGGING THEIR BOYFRIEND'S EX??
73. Yvonne is shady, for sure.
74. OK so Caleb has named Big Bad A: "Bad Emoji"?!?!
75. Ali honestly looks the same age as everyone else at this school.
76. "Great essay". Remember, Ali is a teacher now!
77. She teaches things! To the youth!
78. God help us all.
79. OK now that Ali is back can we see Mona again too?
80. SARA HARVEY what you doing here in that mysterious black beanie, lurking behind lockers???!!
82. This Spencer and Yvonne lunch is weird.
83. And I shipped them for a hot minute until I remembered that Yvonne is dating Spencer's ex.
84. I'm seeing lesbian undertones everywhere.
85. (But not between Em and Ali.)
86. What's with all Spencer's weird building related metaphors?
87. Is it a subtle like "ha you'll get this because we've dated the same guy and he builds and welds shit haha".
88. Oh shit Yvonne left her phone behind.
89. Of course though.
90. That phone was left on purpose, CALLING IT.
91. No pun intended.
92. Spence don't take it!
93. This will only end badly!!!!!
94. Have you learned nothing?!
95. You're better than this!
96. DAMMIT SPENCER.
97. But also YAS let's get some goddamn ANSWERS for once!
98. Now Sara has tracked Ali to her classroom.
99. "I didn't know you worked here."
100. "I did know you work here."
102. Sara is a fucking nutter.
103. Alison: "I'm not sure why I need to know this."
104. Same tbh.
105. But why are you here Sara?
106. And why are you wearing that black beanie?
107. Weird AF.
108. The showers should be located in the gym Sara, run along now.
109. Of course Spencer arrives just as Haleb are having a nice moment.
110. But who is really the third wheel in this situation?
111. ~So tense~.
112. Spencer tells her now boyfriend (who happens to be sitting next to his ex girlfriend), that her ex's fiancé left her phone so she took it.
113. How normal.
114. It's so fucking handy that they have Caleb, hacker extraordinaire, on hand.
115. But really, does he have a job?
116. Why is he always just in Spencer's barn?
117. Poor ol' Hanna, walking away but no one is looking at her :(.
118. Of course. Now we have an Emison scene.
119. Why can't these bitches just be friends?
120. I can't see a scene with them in it without thinking of all the Tumblr fangirls.
121. "EMISON, EMISONNNNN."
122. Like, no.
123. I ship Byron and Pam more than I ship Emily and Alison.
124. OK, so Aria has rented a room at Radley to try to get close to Sara and spy on her?
125. Fucking hell, these girls.
126. Why is Sara watching Jeopardy though? Is she 60 years old?
127. So they think that Sara's going to leave Radley to pick up the drive from Hanna.
128. Sorry girls, but if she really is Big Bad A (which she's not), she'd definitely have some minion doing her dirty work.
129. Speaking of… where's Mona?
130. She could definitely be back on the A Team.
131. Good work Spencer, pretending to do the right thing and return the phone.
132. OMG MONA.
134. Mona's back baby.
135. Was she the person who set up the meet between Yvonne and Spencer?
136. Yessss what a scheming bitch.
137. Hanna's looking so fucking shady in that alleyway with a brown paper bag.
138. I can't believe these girls are still so sold on the idea that it's Sara Harvey?
139. Also Hanna needs to pay more attention to her surroundings, that black car is definitely up to something.
140. OMG that zoom in on the car FFS.
141. God why does I. Marlene want Emison to be a thing so bad???
142. And how come this morning Emily was all like, "Fuck Ali", and now she's like "I want you by my bedside, I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby."
143. Those hormones are fucking her up.
144. Why did Aria think it was OK to just make her work pay for the room she's using to spy on Sara?
145. Ashley's having a fight with Sara!
146. Why doesn't Sara want her room cleaned?
147. If she's trying to break the feral stereotype, she's not doing well.
148."I don't like brunch." OK, now we know this bitch is evil.
149. What on earth could anybody have against brunch?
150. Take your garbage opinions elsewhere while I eat my Eggs Benny.
151. Speaking of eggs, dammit Emily.
152. Oh god, pls let this be a bad dream this is TERRIFYING.
153. Wait… are these bitches really going to climb over the balcony? FFS.
154. When will these girls learn to basically wear gloves wherever they go, so they never leave fingerprints in the random rooms they break into.
155. Or just call the police, maybe?
156. Trust Aria to wear platform heels to a fucking stake-out.
157. So the people who were going to take Emily's eggs have suddenly and mysteriously pulled out?
158. I think Bad Emoji is behind this…
159. This is actually really devastating for Em, she just underwent this totally invasive medical procedure :(.
160. And she still can't pay for college.
161. Oh no Hanna's getting fired!
162. Well, she has been in Rosewood for the last month or so.
163. But yesssss she's really going in on her boss!
164. "There's a pack in your desk." DID I STUTTER.
165. YAS HANNA. DRAG HER.
166. OK this was a great badass Hanna scene you go girl.
167. Now go scalp Spencer for stealing your boo.
168. I mean, what?
169. I can't believe Sparia just broke into Sara's room.
170. They just crossed the line.
171. Lol jks they crossed the line in season one and have never looked back.
172. The hand under the bed omg.
173. Is Old Man A losing his limbs too?
174. So… has there ever been a scene of PLL where Caleb isn't sitting in front of a computer doing hacks?
175. Also I don't think this is what it looks like when you hack a phone.
176. Honestly, this looks like a screen from a Tom Cruise movie in the '90s.
177. There IS some interesting shit on here though…
178. Is he going to use it to find everything out about Spencer?
179. Though actually, if Big Bad A can prove that Caleb, who works for Olivia Benson's campaign, had access to this, it could really fuck them up.
180. Why does Sara have SO MANY gloves?
181. Does she not have… hands?
182. Wtf is this scene, honestly.
183. Hang on, what's that in one of the gloves?
184. Detective Spencer just on the case, like her mom Olivia Benson.
185. Jordan seems nice and all, but goddamn is he boring.
186. He tries so hard with Hanna.
187. "Do you want to go to Rosewood and clear your head?"
188. Said literally NO ONE EVER.
189. Jordan you big, dumb idiot.
190. OMG THE FLOOR PLANS.
191. YOU GUYS I PREDICTED THIS LAST WEEK.
192. HONESTLY GO BACK AND READ MY THOUGHTS.
193. Wait... did Aria honestly just go down into that hole?
195. Aria as if you wouldn't SAY SOMETHING TO SPENCER.
196. Bitches never learn.
197. OMG someone left eggs outside Em's door.
198. This shit is fucked.
199. Poor Emily.
200. Man, everything bad happens to her.
201. Free food though, she should appreciate that.
202. But honestly, who could it be? I hope that Dr Rollins is the new villain.
203. He did know about her eggs after all.
204. Yessss Caleb's message on the hard drive is so goooooood.
205. Caleb, my hacking king.
206. Um wot though?
207. Was this scene written by a computer-illiterate baby boomer in the '90s?
208. "OH SHIT! CTRL-ALT-DELETE"- Big Bad A, probably.
209. Big Bad A really must be an old man.
210. I love how much he/she/it panicked about it.
211. What a deranged episode.