1. “I’m exhausted from how angry I am.” – me @ this show.
2. Imagine going to the doctor and asking for a blood test because you don’t know who the MOTHER of the baby is.
3. But more pressingly, WHO IS THE FATHER? Surely the answer isn’t as simple as “Archer”.
4. FIND OUT THE DAD’S DNA FROM THE BABY AND MAYBE IT’D LINK BACK TO A.D.?!
5. Idk if it works like that, I’ve never been in this situation funnily enough.
6. A.D.’s video chats are killing me. What is this insane technology?? I feel like we say that sentence at least once an episode.
7. Someone has discovered FaceApp.
8. That face mask is literally going to haunt me.
9. It’s like a mix of Aria and Paige’s face.
10. “I want the same thing. The end of the game.” I mean, I dunno, A.D., you could always just FUCKING END IT.
11. “So I understand that you found a finger.” Is this foreplay, Spencer?
12. “If there’s anything in that box, I’ll be happy!” – mmm I bet you will be Detective Fury.
13. Did we ever find out why Mary and Archer were in cahoots? Or was it Archer and Jenna, I can’t remember?
14. Should Fury be talking about this with Spencer though? She’s an actual person of interest in this case.
15. Fury is getting SUSPICIOUS, this is good.
16. This is the FIRST time that the Rosewood PD have actually been competent though, and it’s at a real inconvenient time for them all.
17. WhyIsAriaStillWithEzra.tumblr.com??????????
18. Wow Aria is rolling over with the info very easily.
19. This fake Aria REALLY sounds a lot like Paige tbh. She’s got the same mannerisms as well.
20. I’m already bored with this Paige and Emily relationship.
21. Ooooh I definitely had assumed that this baby’s dad was Archer. This is interesting, I have NO idea who it could be now.
22. If Emison aren’t endgame it will honestly be the biggest shock this show has ever pulled off.
23. Anal queen of tidiness Spencer, noticing a pillow out of place.
24. This is extremely dramatic. Just leave a Post-It on the counter. Or, idk. Text her?
25. Though is this message in a bottle Mary’s audition to be in the Wine Moms?
26. Sometimes I too need to finish a whole bottle of wine before I leave a random message, I won’t lie.
27. Lmao Hanna is being so insensitive talking about babies in front of Emily, I love it.
28. Are they setting up for a Haleb baby?
29. Why has it taken Hanna this long to go snooping in Lucas’ apartment? It’s something my nosy ass would have done ASAP.
30. “What are you even looking for?!” “We’ll know when we find it.” – Me about my dating life.
31. There have been too many red herrings for Lucas now, so he’s obviously not A.D.
32. Or spending his time wearing an Aria ft. Paige mask.
33. This Archer disappearance is SO last season idk why they’re harping on about it, we know who killed him? Unless they’re setting it up to accuse one of the girls of his murder.
34. Fury divulging random information to Alison seems illegal, just when you thought there’d be a good Rosewood cop.
35. Predicting now: Lucas dies somehow before the end of the season. Or in the finale.
36. Lucas is definitely incriminating himself with this comic. Some of these scenes are very Dollhouse. In fact, the panel with the switches is straight out of one of the Dollhouse scenes.
37. Though I guess that could have been all Charlotte?
38. They're definitely really pushing this Lucas thing to distract us.
39. He could be on the A.D. team though.
40. Feels like everyone is at this point.
41. OMG Spencer is this the 1700s? You lunatic, just send Mary a text.
42. Leaving a bottle in front of an open door too just seems obvious, like surely she’d see Mary grab the note at any given stage.
43. Though maybe that’s the point.
44. Emily is really taking after her wine mom Pam.
45. I miss the Wine Moms.
46. “Flip a coin” - Jesus, normally I suggest that when I can’t decide between Thai food or pizza, not about whether to keep a BABY OR NOT.
47. Hanna should not be surprised that the comic is gone. EVERY single time these girls find some evidence, they leave it lying around, and it’s taken.
48. They will never learn.
49. Emily is nuts thinking that she wants to raise this baby. Also, she should maybe talk to Paige about this at some point if they’re back together?
50. “Pls, let’s raise A.D.’s potential spawn.”
51. They’re setting up for PLL take two, set in 2034.
52. Imagine if Emily and Ali had a boy and they called it Emerson.
53. Those I.Marlene King vibes.
54. “I have to show you something but you can’t tell anyone” is probably the sexiest sentence Mona could ever hear.
55. How do they all get access to the school after-hours?
56. OMG ARIA GOT A HOODIE, SHE’S IN.
57. But I can’t stop laughing imagining A.D. having to dart in, replace the comic, and sprint away. All without making a sound.
58. I know that Paige has nothing to do with this Emily/Ali baby situation, but she’s being surprisingly chill about this.
59. Something is afoot…
60. Mona fangirling about this board game is giving me life.
61. They should have told her about this from the beginning, she is the queen of these things. If anyone has a solution, it’s her.
62. The finale I want to see is Mona and A.D. in a battle of masterminds. Ditch the rest of these idiots who are still making the same old mistakes, tbh.
63. Paige isn’t wrong, imagine trying to explain that to the future kid. “I’m with your mommy Emily now, but the mommy that gave birth to you, Alison, used to be and probably still is in love with mommy Emily. You grew up in Mommy Alison’s womb, but you’re actually from mommy Emily’s eggs, and your father, well about that…”
64. That being said, I’m so ready for the woke PLL spinoff of Emily, Paige, and Ali raising a baby together.
65. Bye Paige. Don’t worry, the next girl to move to Rosewood will hook up with Emily anyway, so don’t feel too bad.
66. Also this is a very sad scene, I went from hating Paige to loving her in one episode. I just want Emily and her to be HAPPY.
67. Maybe that’s what I. Marlene wants me to think, and Paige has been A.D. all along.
68. I can’t see anything in this dark AF house that Spencer is exploring, what’s going on? Also where even is she?
69. Ezra’s grown that stubble back, he’s stressed.
70. God I hate Ezra in this season. GO OFF AT HIM ARIA. CALL HIM OUT.
71. Dump his ass, go find Jason.
72. Poor old Aria. But also bitch needs to find a better way to deal than betraying her friends.
73. Paige you big old creeper. Has no one in this episode heard of just CALLING people?
74. “I’ve been waiting 58 minutes...” - Fury, mate, count your lucky stars, you don’t even know what it’s LIKE to wait. Try waiting seven years.
75. Oh my god SPENCER you fucked up big time with Archer’s credit card.
76. But tbh of all the people to fuck up this bad, I am surprised it’s her.
77. Also I’m surprised that they were able to think up this storyline that long ago and actually follow through with it.
78. I honestly can’t take Paige seriously after seeing the bad Aria mask.
79. I’d rather watch Caleb and Toby fish in silence than watch Paige and Alison talk about ~feelings~.
80. Ugh, Endgame Emison is starting.
81. You can’t say that Ali’s baby is going to be beautiful, like it’s a compliment. None of its DNA is hers.
82. Hanna begging Mona to help with the game feels like she’s trying to convince an alcoholic to have a drink.
83. WREN. FINALLY.
84. But why is Spencer suddenly with Wren at the airport? There was no build-up to this.
85. She’s acting very weird. That’s a very un-Spencer outfit, too. I think this is Spencer’s twin.
86. Like, if that theory actually ends up being canon, I think there’s a high chance Spencer’s twin is in cahoots with Wren, Melissa, and even A.D.
87. Did we know Melissa and Wren had apparently broken up? Is that what “Spencer” meant by that brother-in-law line?
88. How did she get to the airport that fast? Also where’s her white coat gone?
89. Two things here: The writers either KNOW about the Spencer twin theory and are just making her act weird on purpose to throw everyone off (Spencer DID get a text while waiting for Mary, so maybe that was Wren), or they’ve completely given up and this is Spencer’s twin.
90. I can’t with this overly emotional scene about Ali deciding to keep the baby. Spare me.
91. Well, they tested Rollins’ DNA, they should try slut daddy Peter Hastings next, just to be on the safe side.
92. How is Aria not pouring that mug over Ezra’s head right now, out of pure frustration.
93. Yet she’s the one apologising.
94. Oh he didn’t catch the flight and he’s acting like he’s so noble. What a dickhead.
95. Go write another sad book Ezra.
96. Oh no, Mary thinks Spencer betrayed her. Ya fucked up, Spence.
97. How can A type with those gloves on though?
98. That cackle! This show has become a parody of itself.
