26 People Shared Their Dating "Green Flags" And MY BRITTLE HEART
"I knew I loved my boyfriend when, on my dog's last day, he showed up with Chick-fil-A nuggets for him."
1. Fixing my sink
"I had just bought my first house and was living alone. The first time I ever had my now-husband over for dinner, my kitchen sink started leaking everywhere! I was in such a state of panic, but luck had it that he was a plumber! He crawled right under the sink and fixed the issue without even hesitating.
The next morning, I got a knock on my door: There he was with a brand new garbage disposal to install. You really get to know people by the way they support you in times of crisis — even if it’s just a leaking sink."
2. Having pet insurance
"I went on a few Tinder dates with this guy who was so open and honest. He didn’t have any game, and was just incredibly kind and unassuming. When he told me he had pet insurance for his dog, I thought it was the sexiest thing ever. Respectful, honest, AND responsible? Sign me up for that! We’ve been dating almost three years, and I love him more every day."
3. Being respectful of his exes
"My current boyfriend has an ex-wife. When we covered this topic in the 'getting to know you' stage, he spoke about her and their failed marriage with so much respect. I'm used to hearing guys talk about exes like, 'Man, she's so crazy, I hate her so much, she was my biggest mistake,' etc. But there was none of that. I think you can tell a lot about how someone will treat you by the way they speak of their previous relationships."
4. Suggesting we make butterbeer
"When my now-husband and I had been dating for about two weeks, I started to introduce him to the Harry Potter movies. He had never seen them before and I'm a huge fan. We were at the grocery store buying food for dinner before our third Harry Potter night and he suggested we buy ingredients to make butterbeer. I knew then and there that I loved this man! We've been married five years and he's still the most amazing person I know!"
5. Being compassionate to those less fortunate
"My now-husband and I were leaving a restaurant pretty early in our relationship when a homeless man approached us. The man said that we looked so in love that he was moved to sing us a song. The man sang for us in his beautiful voice, and when he was done, my husband gave him a long, sincere hug, asked his name, and thanked him for the gift. I knew that this guy would be the one I wanted to be with forever."
6. Allowing me to be myself
"At a friend's wedding, I was being very loud and boisterous with my BFF and my date was being very quiet. With my ex, she would always get mad at me for being too loud. Because of that, I was really worried when my date was being quiet — just like my ex did when she got upset with me. But instead, my date told me she was being quiet because she was captivated by the way I let loose with my friends. She was admiring her view of a happy, beautiful girl and didn’t want to interrupt. We get married in June."
7. Having a true crime fascination
"Four years ago, I met a Tinder match for brunch. We were having great conversation and connecting really well when I made an offhanded joke about serial killer Elizabeth Bathory. I was nervous that he: 1) might not know who the hell Elizabeth Bathory was, or 2) would know who she was and be concerned about my true crime fascination. But in turn, he laughed so loudly and followed it up with his own Ed Gein joke. We’ve been married two years and are expecting our first child together in May."
8. Also loving Ender's Game
"On our first date, we went to Barnes & Noble and my date picked out his favorite book to buy for me: Ender’s Game. Guess what my favorite book is?
Also, we ended up naming our baby boy John Ender."
9. Helping ease my chronic pain
"My now-husband and I had only been dating for a few months when my chronic pain became unbearable and I broke down while in the shower at his apartment. Due to the pain, I couldn’t reach up to rinse my hair, and I started crying. He came into the bathroom, wiped my tears, and compassionately and tenderly rinsed my hair and washed my body. He gently toweled me dry and laid me down in bed so I could rest. I fell in love with him completely that day and the last three years we’ve been married have been the best years of my life."
10. Making me a thoughtful present
"For my first date with a guy, I got him flowers. The next time I saw him, he had made them into matching bookmarks since we spent so much time talking about the books we were reading."
11. Taking me on post-surgery frozen yogurt dates
"We met online, and talked for about a month and a half before we met in person. I had to have jaw surgery during that time, but we were both too anxious to wait any longer. Our first date was a week after my surgery and my cheeks were HUGE! He thought it was cute and took me out on frozen yogurt dates for a while since I couldn't eat solid food. We've been together for almost five years and have one child!"
12. Treating his mom well
"I met my husband when we were both living at home. On one of our first dates, we ended up staying up all night. We didn't want to leave each other, so he invited me to his house — but he warned me that his mom was sick at home.
When we first got to his house, he rushed to his mom's side to make sure she was comfortable, not in pain, and had everything she needed. They say you should look at how a man treats his mom to see how he will treat his wife. This is the moment I started falling in love."
13. Remembering the onions
"I know this might sound weird, but several months before my husband and I started dating, we were just friends and talked about foods we liked and I mentioned I liked onions on my ham sandwiches. On our second date a few months later, we went hiking and made food for each other. I made him a turkey sandwich without tomato because I remembered he doesn't like them. He made me a ham sandwich with onions. My husband wooed me with onions."
14. Doing research
"On our first date, a friend of my cousin wanted to 'show me his apartment' after dinner and some drinks. Needless to say I was on alert, but reluctantly agreed. He showed me around his apartment and I saw his guitar. He picked it up and started playing 'Flake' by Jake Johnson, which is one of my all-time faves. I excitedly told him that I loved that song, and he confessed that he had asked my cousin what music I liked. Needless to say, I took him off the market and we have been married 11 years and counting."
15. Coming with me to say goodbye
"We were in college and had just started dating, and unfortunately my dog back home was very sick and ready to go to doggie heaven. Without saying a word, he drove me three and a half hours back to my hometown so I could say goodbye."
16. Holding my hand during a panic attack
"After a particularly bad day, my now-boyfriend insisted on taking me out to dinner after work. The combination of a stressful workday, an argument with my parents, and getting confused with my food order (it was in a different language) culminated in me having a panic attack in the middle of the restaurant. Instead of running away or being embarrassed, he turned to the waitress and said that he would eat whatever came out of the kitchen and proceeded to hold my hand until the attack faded. It’s been nearly a year since then and I love him even more than I thought I possibly could."
17. Helping out during (and after) my medical emergency
"On one of our first dates, I had a seizure in a gas station and hit my head. My date not only yelled at someone to call 911, but he stayed with me in the ambulance, waited until my parents got there (and introduced himself under very strange circumstances) and called out of work the next day so he could stay and make sure I didn’t have to lift a finger. Biggest green flag I ever experienced and we're still married a decade later."
18. Leaving his shirt behind
"One night when a guy I'd been briefly seeing was leaving my place, I noticed he had already put his sweater on, but left his shirt on the couch. When I told him he was about to forget his shirt, he said, 'I wore two! The other day you said you liked the way they smelled, so I’m leaving one for you.' I blurted out, 'I love you!' That was 14 years ago and we've been together ever since."
19. Always walking me to my car
"Every single time I've been to my boyfriend's apartment, he's walked me to my car when I leave — snow, rain, heat, wind, whatever — even when he was sick with a really bad virus. We've been together almost a year, and I still think it's a very sweet gesture. He stays outside until I pull away, and even insists on clearing snow off my car in the winter."
20. Bringing my dog his last meal
"I started dating my now-boyfriend two months before my dog passed. I knew he was a keeper because my dog loved him and he was usually skittish of everyone.
I knew I loved my boyfriend when, on my dog's last day, he showed up with Chick-fil-A nuggets for him."
21. Liking my quirks
"I wear glasses and have a habit of scrunching up my nose to get them back in place when they start to slide down. My parents always joked that they would never get me married off if I kept doing it. It happened multiple times on my first date with my now-boyfriend, and he told me he thought it was adorable. He smiles every time I do it now. We’ve been together almost three years and have a puppy."
22. Wanting to better understand my condition
"I’m Type 1 diabetic, and to be responsible, I wanted to let my date know that in case of an emergency. So on our first date, he asked me to show him my insulin pump and blood sugar meter so he could know what to do in order to take care of me. That was it, and six and a half years later, we’re renting an apartment together and still going strong."
23. Taking a spontaneous road trip
"For our second date, I half-jokingly suggested we take a road trip because I had an extra day off coming up and none of my other friends wanted to go. I thought he was joking when he agreed. We DROVE from Wisconsin to Florida and then back...just because we could. We’re still going strong and I love his willingness to do something crazy every once in awhile."
24. Adapting to my abnormal coffee schedule
"I was 12 hours late to our first date. He asked me to go out for coffee at 10, and because I’m a giant caffeine-addicted idiot, I thought he meant 10 p.m. So when he texted me at 9:45 in the morning asking me if we were still on for the date, and I was still in bed. I FREAKED out and apologized, convinced he was pissed and wouldn’t want to reschedule. Turned out he was incredibly nice and understanding, and we ended up going on our 10 p.m. coffee date. There wasn’t a single awkward silence, and we ended up staying till the coffee shop kicked us out at midnight. We now live together and have a dog, and I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else."
25. Sharing our imaginary worlds
"When I was in junior high, I created an imaginary country for a history assignment. On my first date with my now-husband, I, for some reason, felt the need to tell him about my country.
He laughed, saying that he had created one too, but just for fun! We discussed our utopias for almost two hours and ended up drawing the flags on the napkins at the restaurant. I knew I wanted to see him again because of his imagination and creativity!"
26. And lastly, being fluent in elvish
"I admitted on a first that I had a huge Lord of the Rings phase, which included learning the elvish language Tolkien created — written and spoken. My date waited for me to finish telling this whole embarrassing story when he smirked and said, 'I learned elvish to ask a girl out in high school.'"