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21 Secrets Australians Will Never Tell Americans

We really, really want a Disneyland.

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1. Drop bears aren't a real thing.

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It's true.

2. We're not actually all tanned.

3. No, you can't do an Australian accent, we just don't want to be rude.

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4. It's not always sunny in Australia.

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In fact, it rains quite a lot here (Adelaide you're not included in this statement sorry xo).

5. We download all your shows illegally.

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And it takes forever because our internet sucks.

6. ...and we're insanely jealous that you get all your movies and TV shows before us.

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We have all had our favourite show spoiled for us by social media at some point.

7. Our beer isn't actually as good as we say it is.

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8. But our wine and cheese are infinitely better than yours.

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YOUR CHEESE IS ORANGE THAT IS NOT NORMAL YOU GUYS.

9. We're more obsessed with your pop culture than we're willing to admit.

...and that's how we ended up with Iggy Azalea, tbh.

10. We're sort of "meh" about the Queen.

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11. We think your gun laws (or lack thereof) are seriously messed up.

Guys, what you're doing? It's not working.

12. We side-eye your spelling.

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13. ...and all your standard measurements.

14. You can keep Russell Crowe. He's from New Zealand and we don't even like him that much.

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15. We're jealous of Cinnabon.

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16. And most of your fast food.

17. We really, really want a Disneyland.

18. All our Australian celebrities are in your country.

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Except Kylie, who's in England.

19. It's like, not *that* scary living amongst fifty-thousand things that want to kill you.

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You get used to it.

20. Most of us have never encountered a deadly snake.

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21. You don't need to sing "Land Down Under" to us, really.