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    What It's Like To Be Ryan Gosling

    It must be nice.

    First of all, girls love you

    No, they REALLY love you

    Heck, even guys love you

    Cause you just have that way with people

    So your fans become a little confused

    Cause you try to be all polite and innocent

    Even though you're secretely confident

    Really, really confident

    Cause you know damn well what the public wants

    Aside from that, you were also a Mouseketeer

    Making you a 90s teen heartthrob

    And a 00's heartthrob

    And a 2010's heartthrob

    Did I mention you were a demigod?

    And the best thing to come from Canada

    Proving that everyone wants a piece of you

    Even the Backstreet Boys wanted a piece of you

    (Ryan Gosling was offered the chance to audition for The Backstreet Boys, but he declined the opportunity)

    You're also better than chocolate, apparently

    And you have a way with words

    Making it impossible for the world to get enough of you, even in pancake-formation

    So you give us an ultimatum

    Yeah, like we'd ever be that stupid