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20 Sex Tips For Orgies That Are Actually Amazing

You're welcum.

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We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us what they wish they'd known before having an orgy. Here are the helpful results.

1. Orgies are never what they look like in porn, so don't stress when yours turns out differently.

"Most of the time, 75% of the group is confused."—chelseah46327715c
Columbia Pictures

"Most of the time, 75% of the group is confused."

chelseah46327715c

2. Shit happens, literally, so if there's a chance you're going to have anal sex, make sure you douche properly beforehand.

"This goes double if you're going to be the only male bottom and everyone else is a top, but also for women who may have anal."—edenthesnake
FX

"This goes double if you're going to be the only male bottom and everyone else is a top, but also for women who may have anal."

edenthesnake

3. Don't do something you're not comfortable with. If you don't want to be double-penetrated or jerked off or kissed, say so.

Marvel, New Line Cinema

4. Stimulation overload can totally occur, and it's not always fun, so don't be hesitant to take a break if you need one.

"I went to a swinger’s party as a single lady earlier this year this and learned this."—aymbrel
Recorded Picture Company

"I went to a swinger’s party as a single lady earlier this year this and learned this."

aymbrel

5. Understand that partaking in an orgy doesn't always mean you'll be having sex.

Focus Features, 20th Century Fox

"Sometimes everyone has sex, and sometimes you only make out or sit in a corner while talking about cats. As long as everyone has a good and consensual time, it's 'successful.'"

cassthepisces

6. Definitely use safe words.

"This is a super easy way to let people know you need a break or you're not comfortable with something."—kellies495258a8b
The Weinstein Company

"This is a super easy way to let people know you need a break or you're not comfortable with something."

kellies495258a8b

7. Don't let your defined sexuality get in the way.

"This is a whole new experience for a lot of people, so if there's someone there who's not your normally-preferred gender, don't be afraid to try something new. When there's more than three people, inhibitions already don't matter."—nicholass4ecc11c9d
20th Century Fox

"This is a whole new experience for a lot of people, so if there's someone there who's not your normally-preferred gender, don't be afraid to try something new. When there's more than three people, inhibitions already don't matter."

nicholass4ecc11c9d

8. Don't get inside your head about what other people are seeing, doing, or thinking. Nobody is judging you if they're there too.

—tylorness88
Showtime

9. You'll know pretty immediately if the orgy is a right fit for you, so trust your gut.

"Most people who participate in an orgy are extremely open-minded. You'll either decide immediately that it's not for you, or you'll just go with the flow and have a lot of uncomfortable laughs along the way. Both are totally fine."—emiliep477957351
Netflix

"Most people who participate in an orgy are extremely open-minded. You'll either decide immediately that it's not for you, or you'll just go with the flow and have a lot of uncomfortable laughs along the way. Both are totally fine."

emiliep477957351

10. Ask yourself if you're going to approve of the orgy in a week, a month, or even years down the line.

"Also ask if it may jeopardize relationships you have with some people. Being honest about this becomes a deal-breaker sometimes."—tylorness88
Imagine Entertainment

"Also ask if it may jeopardize relationships you have with some people. Being honest about this becomes a deal-breaker sometimes."

tylorness88

11. If you're feeling left out, make sure you communicate that. After all, you're in charge of your own experience at an orgy.

"I was part of a polyamorous relationship with four other core people, and occasionally others, so just remember that communication is key."—dizzyizzy316
ThinkFilm

"I was part of a polyamorous relationship with four other core people, and occasionally others, so just remember that communication is key."

dizzyizzy316

12. Don't assume condoms will be provided. Always bring your own.

"Don't be that person. Seriously. And don't use the same condom with more than one person."—katlady122193
Universal Pictures

"Don't be that person. Seriously. And don't use the same condom with more than one person."

katlady122193

13. Always know your STD status and the statuses of those around you.

—tylorness88
Wild Bunch

14. Figure out if you're actually comfortable with watching your partner(s) fool around with other people.

"Especially when it's all going on right in front of you."—bjt43a727fce
MTV

"Especially when it's all going on right in front of you."

bjt43a727fce

15. Recognize that consent is just as important and legitimate, no matter how many people are present.

"The pressure to do something you aren’t into or don’t want to do can feel multiplied because of not wanting to ruin ~the vibe~, but that feeling works both ways."—seansimpson
Sony Pictures Classics

"The pressure to do something you aren’t into or don’t want to do can feel multiplied because of not wanting to ruin ~the vibe~, but that feeling works both ways."

seansimpson

16. With that said, you should always do consent check-ins before you start.

Fox Searchlight Pictures, Wild Bunch

"Ask what everyone expects and is comfortable with, and be specific!"

marthas46904b0c8

17. People are awkward and bodies are weird, so it's 100% OK to laugh during the experience.

New Line Cinema, Harpo Films

"Don't take anything too seriously."

cassthepisces

18. Being in an orgy means you might not be attracted to everyone, but try not to let that ruin the whole experience for you.

"I wish I knew I wasn't going to be attracted to everyone. Made for an awkward me staying in the corner of the room, praying it would be over soon."—ulisses
Messidor Films

"I wish I knew I wasn't going to be attracted to everyone. Made for an awkward me staying in the corner of the room, praying it would be over soon."

ulisses

19. Make sure you (and the other people involved) actually want to have group sex.

"Orgies can be awkward and weird, so you want to make sure you can have fun with everything. You don't want to do it because of peer pressure or pressure from a significant other."—tishalong
ThinkFIlm

"Orgies can be awkward and weird, so you want to make sure you can have fun with everything. You don't want to do it because of peer pressure or pressure from a significant other."

tishalong

20. And of course, understand that orgies will be a lot messier, smellier, and exhausting than you'd ever expect.

—ashleyprice
Netflix

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Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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