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    28 Petty Breakup Stories That'll Honestly Make You Laugh

    "His head was too round. It was distracting."

    We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the pettiest reason they've ever broken up with someone. Here are the wild results.

    1. "We went to Subway and he got an egg salad sub and absolutely covered it in BBQ sauce and mayo. I was completely disgusted, so we stopped hanging out."

    Bravo

    2. "I dumped a guy after three months of dating because he told me Pumbaa from The Lion King was a rhino. There's literally a line in the move that says he's a warthog!"

    Disney

    renukaj

    3. "I once broke up with a guy because he picked me up for date night in a jeep (with the top down) after I had just gotten my hair done."

    NBC

    buzz71

    4. "His head was too round. It was distracting."

    Bravo

    5. "I didn't want to have to buy my boyfriend of three months a Christmas gift, so I just broke up with him instead."

    Logo TV

    6. "He kissed me with his eyes open. It made me uncomfortable."

    7. "He called me at 3 a.m. to talk and it woke me up. I dumped him right there and then."

    Fuse

    emmbro

    8. "He pronounced it 'Valentime’s Day.'"

    Disney Channel

    9. "We were at an arts fair that had a frozen bananas booth. I heard him sincerely call bananas 'nanners.' I had to end it right there."

    TriStar Pictures

    10. "He used an aftershave that smelled like vanilla sugar. It was like making out with a candle. I had to end it."

    Channel 5

    11. "We were making out in his bed. I looked over and saw a moldy piece of pizza on his desk. I pointed it out, and he said, 'I know. I'm too lazy to throw it away.' Done."

    Bravo

    12. "Went on one date with a guy, saw he ate fries while holding his pinkie out, and that was it."

    MTV

    13. "I once broke up with a guy because he picked up my book and said 'Oh. No pictures.'"

    Bravo

    14. "When I was 17 he took me out for gelato, and then we made out in a park. All I could taste was the disgusting gelato flavor he chose, so the next weekend I told him I didn't want to keep hanging out."

    15. "One time I broke up with a guy solely on the fact that he didn’t like the movie Elf."

    New Line Cinema

    doal45

    16. "His name was Justin. Mine is Justine. I hated the never-ending jokes we got, so I had to end it."

    NBC

    17. "He would pick up his plate and lick it clean. Then, he would set it down, lick his finger, and scrape up any bits that he missed. When I saw him lick a KFC styrofoam bowl so clean that it looked new, then proudly put the licked lid on top, I was done."

    18. "Broke up with someone when he argued with me that 'sans' wasn't a word. I used it in a sentence, and he essentially told me I was being dumb and that it's not a word. I just couldn't after that."

    Vh1

    mrsh810

    19. "There was no direct route from my place to his, and I got tired of having to drive all the windy back roads, so I broke up with him."

    Sony Pictures

    lizzl

    20. "I looked up at him while we were having sex, realized he looked like a turtle when he was having an orgasm, and dumped him the next day. I just couldn't."

    HBO

    21. "While watching a movie at my place, he was snacking on Cheetos. I saw him wipe his cheese fingers on my blanket! I asked if he'd like me to get him a napkin, and he said no. I asked him to leave and to take his cheese fingers with him."

    22. "I dumped a guy who moaned more than I did during sex. It was too distracting."

    23. "I dropped a bloke after a few dates because he had really bad posture. It irritated me way more than it should have!"

    OWN

    24. "He had these tiny, thin fish lips, and when he kissed me I felt like throwing up. One time he tried to kiss me with chapped lips and to 'fix it' he licked them... but wet, dead skin hung off his lips. It made my skin crawl, so I just left and never spoke to him again."

    HBO

    25. "Was dating someone for two months. He ordered his steak well-done, so I had to end it."

    26. "I broke up with someone in middle school because he didn’t capitalize “I” when he wrote “i love you.” I guess I was destined to be an English teacher even then."

    27. "I didn’t like the way he held his spoon..."

    28. And "My pettiest was definitely in high school. He broke up with me but then we got back together. Then I quickly ended it the second time because I wanted to even the score."

    Pop

    Do you have a better or funnier story? Tell us the pettiest thing you've ever done in the comments below!

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