We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about their most hilariously disastrous vacations – here are some of the best responses:
1. The plane poo problem.
My brother had just turned one when we went to Disney World for the first time, and I was 10. I was sitting on the plane beside my mom, and my brother started screaming. We thought it was because his ears were popping, but it turned out he had the worst diarrhea ever. It was everywhere; on the seat, on my mom, on my brother. The flight attendant brought us CLUB SODA to "fix the problem" and a garbage bag and paper towels. They wouldn't let my mom get up because the seat belt light wasn't off yet. She made holes in the garbage bag and tied it at his waist, sat him on her lap, and waited. Worst flight ever, but it's completely laughable now.
Submitted by lexdontdoit.
2. The ash scattering cruise.
I went on a cruise with my grandma and she tried to scatter my great-grandpa's ashes off the back of the boat. I ended up rinsing my grandpa off about four levels of the ship with a cup of water. When my great-grandma died and we wanted to scatter her ashes in the same way, my grandma hollowed out bread rolls and put the ashes inside to prevent a repeat of events.
Submitted by andreag40f4f62ff.
3. The peeing incident.
One 4th of July weekend we got stuck in standstill traffic and my youngest brother who was six at the time kept complaining that he had to pee. We couldn't pull over so my dad gave him a Gatorade bottle to pee into. My brother started peeing in the bottle just as the traffic started moving a little bit.
The sudden movement of the car jolted my brother from where he was standing (it was a minivan) and he dropped the bottle but didn't stop peeing. He literally peed all over the side of my dad's head and the steering wheel.
Submitted by Kristen Iannuzzi, Facebook
4. The gone off milk drama.
Once on a family vacation to Disneyland my brother and I ordered milk for breakfast before heading out for the day. We both took two sips and then stopped because it tasted weird. My mom didn't believe us and made us drink all of it because it was $6 a glass.
On the drive to Disneyland I started feeling really ill, but my parents thought I was just car sick and gave me a sick bag.
I threw up everywhere. Then my brother did. When we got back to our car in the evening my brother slid into the back seat and landed in a pile of vomit - turns out I hadn't quite got it all into the bag. My rotten milk puke baked in the sun in our car for eight hours. Thank god it was a rental, because it still smelled like throw up when we returned it seven days later.
Submitted by Abbey Love, Facebook.
5. The cow.
A cow fell off a cliff in Cornwall and splatted on the beach 100ft below. My sister was a sensitive soul and in the depths of teen angst hadn't noticed. We never spoke of it for years.
Submitted by mollyjaned.
6. The "hotel".
My family and I stayed in a "hotel" (can I even call it that?) with bats in the ceiling, poop on the walls, and we had to use bath towels for blankets.
Submitted by brookes4c21ec78a .
7. The whale.
My mum's side of the family consists of about twenty Irish people and we often hire out hostels to ourselves for the Christmas holidays. One year we stayed by the seaside and my uncle overheard in the local pub that a dead whale had washed up on the beach and that someone was going to blow it up to get rid of it.
Obviously we all wanted to see this spectacle. When we finally arrived there were bits of dead whale everywhere with the worst rotting smell I have experienced to this day.
My mum decided to kick a piece of whale blubber that was lying around which exploded and splattered ALL OVER ME. I was 11 years old, covered head to toe in dead whale. AND THE SMELL. I had to throw my trainers and (borrowed) cagoule in a public bin before we left the beach because no one could stand downwind of the blubber smell. Its a family legend that we like to bring up from time to time.
Submitted by Poppy Izzard.
8. The classic camping fail.
We left the for our trip before dawn and after about a six hour car journey arrived at a Devon campsite. My mum and dad cracked open a beer each to celebrate being so organised. They got the tent out then started looking for the poles. Cue a "I thought you packed them" conversation. Luckily we had a small tent which my mum and brothers were able to stay the night in whilst my dad and I made the 460 mile round trip to get the poles.
Submitted by SophieM1003.
9. The vacation bug.
Once on a spring break vacation, my family went to Florida for a week. There were six of us and we all got a stomach bug that caused us to vomit for 24 hours. We all got it, but no one had it at the same time. Someone was sick everyday of our vacation. It was disgusting.
Submitted by audreyt4107e00a3
10. The anniversary shitcident.
My husband and I went to Austria for our anniversary which also coincided with the Christmas weekend. Our hotel was nowhere near full capacity so most of the staff knew who we were. After a late dinner my husband took the biggest dump known to man which overflowed the toilet so badly that it ran onto the carpet. We called the concierge and they sent someone up to give us the key to a new room, while we hid around the corner out of embarrassment. We grabbed the key, found our suite and made ourselves scarce for the rest of the trip. I couldn't even bring myself to check out with that concierge because I know for certain that he knew exactly who destroyed their room...
Submitted by Bjørn Courtney Thomsen.
11. The Speedo.
In Tuscany my dad thought it would be a great idea to wear his twenty year old Speedo to the hotel pool. He also thought it would be a great idea to jump off the diving board to impress his 6-year-old and 9-year-old daughters. Luckily I turned away just in time to avoid seeing my father's package as his Speedo slipped off his body when he dived into the pool. Unfortunately, my older sister and mother were too slow to notice what was coming for them. We've been laughing about it at family dinners ever since then!
Submitted by ceceg42d36a634.
12. The broken elevator.
My family and I were on vacation in Paris. After a long day of walking around, we didn't want to take the stairs back to the seventh floor. So we all squeezed into the tiny elevator. After about one floor, the elevator stopped. We pressed the emergency button, and the poor woman on the other end couldn't understand anything we were saying. My family and I were stuck in there for about an hour. We were finally saved, but we had to crawl out with the chance of being cut in half. The elevator was broken for the rest of our trip, so every day after that we had to take the seven flights of stairs up to our room.
Submitted by katieb49a6f9b01
13. The bad plumbing incident.
One time I went to the Virgin Islands with my family and my best friend for two week. We rented a house and one bathroom had really bad plumbing. One of us took a poo and clogged the toilet and so we left it in the toilet for about a week, but then it began to stink up the room. Long story short some bare hands were stuck into a toilet and we lost a fly swatter…
Submitted by jennal4ec346990.
14. The dividing train nightmare.
I was interrailing with my friends and fell asleep on one of the night trains in a different carriage to them. I woke up at around 5am, with an old man rubbing my bare feet on his crotch. After running away from him and unable to find my friends, I spoke to a conductor who explained to me in broken English that my friends were on end of the train going to Austria, but I had ended up on the part of the train going to Bratislava. I ended up stuck in Bratislava with no shoes, no money, and a dead phone. I had accepted death until a couple took pity on me and helped me to get a train back to Austria. It was the worst night of my life.
Submitted by hannahp442c4af29.
15. The milk.
My dad was trying to carry groceries to our motel room in one go, but when he got to the door he realised the room key was in his pocket. While shuffling the groceries around trying to reach the key, both gallons of milk slipped out of his hands and exploded everywhere. This was a motel-type place where the doors lead outside rather than into a hallway, and we happened to be on the fourth floor. Luckily there was a storm drain right there and all the milk drained out to the parking lot beneath. My dad looked over the railing just in time to see both gallons of milk blanket a mini van parked right below the storm drain. And then the windshield wipers turned on. There were people inside the car!
Submitted by jorilynb.
16. The bad Mexican food.
When my family was in Mexico we went out for food at a place near the hotel we were staying at. On the way home from the restaurant I got out of the car four times to throw up. Then my brother and sister started throwing up. The food poisoning was so bad that I wasn't even able to swallow medicine or even a sip of water.
Submitted by Teà Venier.
17. The vomiting trip.
We did a Christmas road trip around Florida with my entire extended family.
One of my cousins fell ill the night before we headed to our Fort Lauderdale condo, and at the time we thought he had probably got food poisoning. But we were so wrong. We started dropping like flies. Imagine 15 people in a two bedroom, two bathroom condo shitting and vomiting EVERYWHERE! It was like the scene from Bridesmaids, with everyone screaming at each other to get out of the bathroom and dragging our bodies around half naked just wanting to die. In the end we survived, but was the last vacation we ever took as a family together.
Submitted by jaclynkane91