There's nothing like reading news stories about crap winter wonderlands.
It truly was the world's worst dinner party.
Bless the dog who sprained her tail from wagging too hard.
Including the guy who wears cardigans to show that he’s sensitive.
Animals do the most ridiculous things.
Remember: divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived.
"The biggest unsolved mystery in Britain: how are there even any people left in Midsomer?"
"The next James Bond movie is probably just going to be him stuck at passport control for 2 hours."
Instead of an organist your church had a dude with a guitar.