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What It's Like Attending The BAFTAs As A Normal Person

Here's what it looked like from the other side of the red carpet.

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The red carpet is incredibly disorienting. When you are on the red carpet all you hear are screams. All you see are fans at the side with their books open, begging for an autograph, screaming. Stacks upon stacks of photographers, yelling at everyone. And the never-ending flashing of light.

Redmayne and Bagshawe saw the cameras like this:

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed vine.co

Are the people who walk down the red carpet better mannered than the people who are watching the red carpet from the other side? No. They spend the entire time taking photos of famous people walking down the red carpet alongside them. The only way in which being on the red carpet is better than being on the other side is that you are a metre closer. You become one of those people who looks 78% of the time through your phone screen.

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

What was noticeable was how cool the celebrities were acting considering that there were so much photography and overdramatic shrieks around them. Steve Carell acted as if he was walking to the shops, David Beckham was unfazed and didn't flinch at the screams, Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophie Hunter were in their own world and spent a considerable amount of time signing autographs for fans.

You also spend a great deal of time on the red carpet thinking that you aren't on camera because all of the attention is on the celeb. So for example, I casually took this photo of Julianne Moore whilst she was being interviewed.

I didn't realise until later that I was on TV, I didn't stop staring at the camera, and I looked like a stalker.

BBC Three / bbc.co.uk

There is also an army of people whose only job is to push you down the red carpet. Once you go forward on the red carpet, it is impossible to go back, even a step, or you are made to feel as guilty as hell.

This is what the countdown clock looked like for the award winners, designed to alert them if their speech went on for too long.

Just about everyone managed to not overrun their speech. Patricia Arquette completed her speech for Best Supporting Actress as the clock passed exactly zero. I was hoping that her hitting the mark would result in something exciting, like lazers or something, but alas the screen just faded to black.

The countdown clock also showed the script for Stephen Fry and anyone who introduced a category. This meant that if you were sitting where I was, you spent 80% of time looking at the autocue mouthing the words, or trying to read faster than them.

Julianne Moore managed to sum up what everyone was thinking in the audience the whole time.

vine.co / Courtesy of BAFTA/BBC 2015

As the red carpet started at around 5 pm, and the ceremony kicked off shortly after 6, nobody had eaten for hours. This was made worse by the fact that dinner was not going to be until midnight and everyone was sobering up from drinking a considerable amount of champagne from two in the afternoon.

At one point I went off to have a big wee and discovered another problem. You are not allowed to re-enter the auditorium unless they are showing a video on stage, in case your re-entering interrupts a speech.

Lesson: If you want to be big in film you must learn to wee INFREQUENTLY.

It was then dinner at Grosvenor House, where dinner was presented on a table that looked like this.

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

Each table had its own theme, based on one of the films nominated at this year's awards. This table was based on The Grand Budapest Hotel.

Here was the table based on Birdman.

Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed

Could you see the person eating directly opposite you? No, you couldn't. But you didn't really care that you didn't either when your table looked like this.

Many of the celebrities were sitting together, and everyone's ticket for the event requested that they did not interrupt their evening. So bumping into the celebrities was a slightly rare occasion and when you did you felt that you shouldn't react to it that much.

The only proper celebrity incident that I encountered was opening a door for Andrew Scott in a hallway. I shouted, "I JUST OPENED A DOOR FOR MORIARTY!" to a friend as if I was announcing to him when we would be getting married. I later accidentally brushed past Kasabian's Serge Pizzorno, who was still wearing the tail he wore on the red carpet, whilst finding my way to a table.

This is what Serge's tail looked like, by the way.

So @KasabianHQ are wearing furry tails #EEBAFTAs

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So @KasabianHQ are wearing furry tails #EEBAFTAs

5:44 PM - 08 Feb 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

Just in case you needed to know: His tail was really quite soft.

Many of the celebs were there for dinner. They then disappeared all at once, off to their various afterparties whilst the rest of the people went downstairs to a ballroom.

And around that moment, everyone stole as much as they could from their dinner table.

You might think, Why steal? Well a lot of the things on the night, like the tablemats and the decorations, were specifically made and themed for the occasion. By taking it home, you were essentially taking something to fondly remember the evening by.

My tablemat was a photo of Ellar Coltrane from Boyhood. It's pretty hard for a hotel to use that tablemat again, when you think about it.

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