Acapella
"I feel like acapella is something that people only want to do because of movies about college."
"Acapella guys are tired of being asked if they're gay"
"They all hook with each other"
"Lots of intragroup drama."
"A lot of acapella people do that thing where you sing to yourself under their breath but are obviously still trying and are accepting compliments."
"You tried out with that Alicia Keys song."
"I keep on fallin', iiiiiiiiii-iii-iii-iiiin and out of love, witha you."
"Sam Smith is your shit right now."
Student Government
"Being on college student government means you're applying to grad school."
"I'm devoted to our student body' translates to 'I'm devoted 2 my resume."
"You're like... popular in the sense that people have always invited you to their birthday dinners."
"Vaguely leftist."
"Very normcore."
"Wear oxford shirts to class."
"LIKE BITCH IT IS TUESDAY MORNING. No one else is out here in an oxford."
Newspaper
"Newspaper staff is pretty legit tbh."
"Although, you certainly take yourself very seriously."
"Thinkpiece."
"Facebook activism."
"And like, corrects people on 'whom."
"Has an opinion about the oxford comma."
"Rolls their eyes at 'print is dead' arguments."
"Rolls their eyes at BuzzFeed."
"Complains about how late they were up last night doing paper stuff. Like, unsolicited. No one asked you when you went to sleep."
"Leaves lunch with friends early to get 'back to the newsroom."
Literary Magazine
"Scoffs at people who haven't read Lolita."
"Listens to fucking LCD soundsystem"
"Dance yrslf PRIVILEDGED"
"Hates Macklemore bc appropriation."
"Doesn't fully understand appropriation."
"Definitely throws around words like 'heteronormative' without ACTUALLY understanding them."
"Is that person in English class who thinks Holden Caulfield is gay."
"Also rolls their eyes at BuzzFeed."
"But still reads it."
"A lot."
Greek Life
"I feel like everything that needs to be said about greek life has been said."
"It can be summed up by one brilliant quote: 'Freshman year you think all of the frats are cool, sophomore year you only think your frat is cool, Junior year... you're abroad..., Senior year you realize none of the frats are cool."
Varsity Athletics
"Definitely gonna have to say mid calf socks for this one"
"Wears a monotone sweatpant. Gray sweatshirt. Gray sweatpants."
"Groutfit."
"And sits in a row in lecture with all their athlete friends who are also wearing groutfits."
"Somehow always avoids taking classes that are not 200 person plus lectures."
"You can always catch them at Chipotle."
"Never gets a burrito bowl, always a burrito."
Club Athletics
"Club athletics are for people who have trouble letting go of the past."
"And for people who took the college brochure too seriously."
"Your dad was your coach for your travel team in high school."
"I feel like club sports ppl play a lot of Halo, and COD, and the like."
"Like they have the headset."
"They were the kids who like yelled at their moms when you were over at their house."
"MAKE ME PIZZA BITES MOM."
"SHUT UP MOM WE'RE PLAYING COD."
Eco-Groups of Any Sort
"Composts in dorm room."
"Reprimands you for buying water bottles."
"Eco friendly people love to reprimand."
"You know what day earth day is."
"Unironic tie dye."
"Doesn't buy clothes, just accumulates shirts from events."
Secret Society
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Community Service
"This means you are a genuinely good person because you stand to gain very little by doing that in college."
"These are the kids who were ALREADY donating to ALS BEFORE ice bucket challenge."
"They knew what ALS is."
"Urban studies majors."
"They flood email lists."
Hip Hop Dance Crew
"I feel like college hip hop dance crews are entirely populated by attractive Asian men."
"People who learned to dance from youtube."
"Saggy pants."
"Timbaland remixes."
"Custom neon nikes."
Theater
"theatre*"
""hell week.""
"UGH."
"STOP COMPLAINING."
"For fav books on FB, they're all Shakespeare plays."
"Like all of the King Henrys."
"Theater kids have a mental list of their "best friends" in order."
"Like theater kids are the only people who still use the phrase "best friend" to mean a literal human being."
"Enthusiastic texters."
"PARAGRAPH TEXTERS."
"Brunch planners."
"Glee is still a thing for them."
"They type songs into Spotify and then CHOOSE to listen to the Glee version."
Model UN
"Did debate in HS."
"Rolling backpacks."
"That is all."
"Quotes Malcolm Gladwell like they're the only one who's ever read Blink."
"Like actively took the time of day to make their FB political view "libertarian.""
"Fake reads The Economist."
"Really into 'apps."
"Like, functional apps."
Absolutely Nothing
"DGAF."
"KID YOU WANT TO BE."
"Yeah is like 'already in college, why would I do that shit.'"
"Like you don't even get mad at the fact that they have no obligations."
"They go out like Wednesday through Saturday."
"Props to this kid."
"You do you."
