Times were simpler when planking was funny.
When the going gets tough, the tough triple-space their papers.
Don’t wish me a happy birthday. Wish me an alcohol delivery system as efficient as Seamless.
Let us help your lettuce.
You can’t spell team without womyn.
Not paying for postage, I already pay for acne cream.
Life’s too short and so are your nails.
Laundry (noun): a rare phenomenon that only occurs when you have no clean underwear.
*before shipping and handling*
“Where have you been all my life” -Rihanna, about this quiz
“IT’S LIKE RIPPING OUT ALL OF YOUR GUTS ON A STRING.”
Why have a whole jacket, when you can have a quarter of one?
And people are starting to react.
On the occasion of their birth.