Times were simpler when planking was funny.
When the going gets tough, the tough triple-space their papers.
Don't wish me a happy birthday. Wish me an alcohol delivery system as efficient as Seamless.
Boxy dresses or bust.
Let us help your lettuce.
You can't spell team without womyn.
Not paying for postage, I already pay for acne cream.
"You used my razor?"
*Cries tears of glitter*
Life's too short and so are your nails.
Laundry (noun): a rare phenomenon that only occurs when you have no clean underwear.
*before shipping and handling*
"Where have you been all my life" -Rihanna, about this quiz
"IT’S LIKE RIPPING OUT ALL OF YOUR GUTS ON A STRING."
Why have a whole jacket, when you can have a quarter of one?
And people are starting to react.
Guard your chinos.
On the occasion of their birth.