Food

The 33 Craziest New Fast Foods Of 2014

Pray for humanity.

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Another year is nearing its end, and here we are with another crop of inexplicable fast food menu items to look back on in fondness and confusion.

There are some patterns you can spot amidst all the cheese: Pizza Hut continues to gleefully troll the world, KFC is WAY more fun outside the U.S., Jack in the Box understands that 90% of its customer base is stoners, and Taco Bell maintains an uncanny knack for formulating exactly which Franken-foods will cause Twitter to freak out the most.

Behold what humans worldwide leave in our greasy wake this year:

10. Pizza Hut's Surf & Turf Pizza with Dessert-Stuffed Crust (South Korea)

Pizza Hut / brandeating.com

How did it take humanity so long to come up with a pizza that combines shrimp, calamari, sausage, bacon, steak, cranberry (or apple) and cream cheese?

17. Church's Chicken & Waffle Bites (U.S.)

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Legit brilliant.

18. Del Taco's Bun Taco (U.S.)

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(LOL). This was one of three "throwback" menu items resurrected to commemorate Del Taco's 50th anniversary.

19. Domino's Specialty Chicken (U.S.)

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What is it? Literally just fried chicken chunks covered with cheese and other stuff. Why does it exist? We may never know.

21. Carl's Jr.'s Double Loaded Omelet Biscuit (U.S.)

Carl's Jr. / Via brandeating.com

Also at Hardee's. Two omelets with sausage, ham, bacon, American, Jack AND cheddar cheese is a great thing to have for breakfast if you want to be passed out for the rest of the day!

27. Pizza Hut's Pretzel Piggy Pizza (U.S.)

Pizza Hut / Via brandeating.com

This pie boasts bacon, mushrooms and spinach with a salted pretzel crust and balsamic drizzle. It's part of Pizza Hut's big, bewildering American menu revamp.

30. Subway's Flatizza (U.S.)

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What is that, a piece of frickin' matzoh? NOT A THING.

Thanks to Brand Eating for alerting the world to many of these creations.

A previous version of this post included a fictional milkshake which was incorrectly presented as real. I wanted to believe.