DIVISION I: General Excellence
1. BBQ Bacon Wrapstar (KFC Canada)
I legitimately don’t comprehend what this food item is.
7. A.M. Crunchwrap (Taco Bell)
The day hasn’t really started until you’ve had a tortilla full of eggs and hash browns.
8. Pizzabon (Cinnabon)
This magical creation doesn’t seem to have made it outside one test location in an Atlanta mall. R.I.P. Pizzabon.
9. Doritos Locos Taco (Taco Bell)
Full disclosure: I’ve eaten this. 10/10, would eat again.
DIVISION II: Burgers
This seems to include anything you can put between two round discs of bread-like substance.
10. Cheese-Top Burger (KFC Philippines)
11. Fry Lover’s Burger (Checker’s/Rally’s)
Won’t lie, have DIYed this on some burgers in my time.
12. “Kuro” Burger (Burger King Japan)
Black is the new normal-bun-colored.
13. Angry Whopper (Burger King)
Angry = spicy. Technically a re-release in honor of the Whopper’s 55th anniversary, which is, like, not a real anniversary.
14. Ice Cream Brrrger (Carl’s Jr.)
A test subject that never made it national, as far as we know. Like a regular ice cream cookie sandwich except with way more creepy icing!
15. Lobster & Caviar Burger (Wendy’s Japan)
Anchoring the delightful new “Ocean Premium” line.
16. Memphis BBQ Burger (Carl’s Jr.)
Excuse me, I think my burger needs more pulled pork on it. Oh, and maybe a few onion rings.
17. “Gracoro” Burger (McDonald’s Japan)
Somehow they knew the world had been yearning for more shrimp and mac ‘n’ cheese patties.
18. Fiery Ghost Burger (Red Robin)
Made with the ghost pepper, which is some really crazy hot pepper or something.
19. Pumpkin Burger (Burger King Japan)
LOL remember when pumpkin was the new bacon?
DIVISION III: Pizza Hut
Have to hand it to Pizza Hut for their non-stop worldwide development of incoherent and yet totally mesmerizing pizza products. They win 2012 for weird shit, hands down.
20. Cheeseburger Crust Pizza (Pizza Hut Middle East)
22. Hot Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza (Pizza Hut UK)
The most upsetting part of this is the idea of paying for a “mustard drizzle.*
24. Garlic Bread Pizza (Pizza Hut)
Brilliant in its simplicity.
25. Cheesy Bites Pizza (Pizza Hut)
From the official Gizmodo review: “The knots are not very ergonomic, and they feel bad in the hand. Luckily, you can eat the parts that do not feel good in the hand.”
26. Kit Kat Pops (Pizza Hut Middle East)
At what point do we begin to suspect that Pizza Hut is just messing with us?
27. Double Sensation Pizza (Pizza Hut Singapore)
STOP STOP JUST STOP also please bring to America
DIVISION IV: Dessert
These treats distinguished themselves in a rapidly-expanding category.
28. Cookie Sandwich (Taco Bell)
My private theory as to why it’s triangular is so that it looks more like a tortilla chip?
29. Cheesecake On A Stick (White Castle)
Because plates and forks have monopolized the cheesecake scene for way too long.
30. Strawberry Churro (Del Taco)
This reviewer is unsure why it’s a different color than the regular churro. Spooky.
31. Chocolate Nachos (El Pollo Loco)
NBD, just a nice light 1,100-calorie snack.
32. Bacon Sundae (Burger King)
At least one woman in the world really, really enjoyed this.