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1.A handy checklist that will hold you accountable for completing tasks. Hey, if it takes a pushy piece of paper to get you through the day, I won't question it.
2.A pair of shoe stretchers, because you've probably had to take off your shoes *in public* due to gnarly break-in blisters more times than you'd like to admit. For your own good and that of everyone else, let's tackle that issue.
3.An underwear subscription so you can stave off the dreaded laundry day without having to go commando just a liiiittle bit longer.
4.A cute little trash can to keep in your room so you have no excuse for letting those clothing tags, receipts, and gum wrappers pile up on your dresser.
5.Some very ~aesthetically pleasing~ hand sanitizer if you find that your hands are somehow ALWAYS covered in a mysterious substance.
6.A set of microfiber glasses cleaning cloths, because if you continue to throw your glasses about carelessly, you're gonna need a great way to clean them. I'm sorry I have to be the one to tell you this, but the bottom of your T-shirt is NOT gonna get those smudges off.
7.A set of charcoal air purifying bags to place anywhere that just smells...funky. Closets, cars, gym bags, you name it! Get rid of the stank without spritzing a headache-inducing freshener all over the place.
8.A pan and lid organizer that can be used both horizontally and vertically so you never again get crushed by the avalanche of cookware that usually pours out of your cabinets. How many times has that made you start crying? A thousand? More?
9.A washable shower curtain liner, because the "buy a new plastic one every five years and just shower next to a mildewy nightmare" method hasn't really been working out for you.
10.A foldable, reusable bag so you can always have one on you instead of having to remember to grab it before heading to the store. We both know that will literally never happen.
11.Some handy file folders to keep your important documents safe and sound. Need to find your passport before a big trip? Look no further than the adorable accordion folder in your desk drawer.
12.A set of packing cubes for anyone who's ever tried and immediately failed at keeping their luggage in check while on vacation. Vacation isn't the time to fret over organization — let the cubes do it for you.
13.A purse organizer with 11 glorious pockets so you don't have to fight to shove your hand through 20 tubes of lipstick just to grab hold of your wallet.
14.A hanger stacker so the bottom of your closet can finally be FREE! No more fighting with tangled hooks just to hang up one shirt.
15.A password journal, because I don't think you can remember every single unique password you make, and, you can argue if you want, but I don't think you can keep track of the scraps of paper you usually jot them down on either.
16.A Quip toothbrush subscription so you always have a fresh brush right when you need it and can even remember to brush all four corners of your mouth for the perfect amount of time with its helpful cues.
17.A bottle of wrinkle releaser spray for at least looking like you had time to get yourself together in the morning. Don't worry — your secret's safe with me.
18.A handheld vacuum so the next time you make a bit of a mess, you don't have to just stare at it hoping it goes away. This tiny vacuum lacks the hassle of a full-size one and will make little cleaning tasks way more doable.
19.A cup holder car trash can, because you might not mind when your feet have to crunch through trash just to get in the vehicle, but your passengers might.
20.A peace of mind journal so you don't have to meet with a lawyer just yet, but you CAN ensure that your prized collection of Pez dispensers ends up in rightful hands — just in case of the worst.
21.A stainless steel water bottle, because popular culture says the solution to all of your problems is to simply drink more water. And hey, you'll probably be more likely to do that from a cute bottle!
22.Some enormous, tabbed sticky notes so your highlighting and line notes don't become forgotten or illegible. I'm sure your thoughts on this passage of Franny and Zooey are timeless and not just part of a phase.
23.A box of affirmation cards, because you always deserve a little encouragement, especially when the struggle is real.
24.A Tile Sport for keeping tabs on your valuables and tracking them down if they happen to escape. This applies to keys, wallets, cats, pretty much anything!
25.A wine stain remover, because accidents happen. But when every white shirt you own has droplets of merlot on it, it may be time to call in some backup.
26.A toilet wand with a caddy to make your most dreaded task SO much easier. The wand lets you stay at a safe distance and the disposable sponge means you'll never have to touch anything yucky. You got this.
27.A clean/dirty dishwasher magnet so you don't have to launch a full-fledged investigation into the dish status every time you want to pop in a fork. I don't know about you, but I have never once remembered if the dishes were clean or dirty. Am I...ok?
28.And if all else fails, a bag of highly caffeinated Death Wish coffee, because maybe your life isn't falling apart — you just needed a little extra boost all along!