This Super Caffeinated Coffee Is About To Make Your Sluggish Mornings So Much Better

I mean, over 15,000 (!!!) positive reviews can't be wrong.

Do you hate getting ready in the mornings? Do you repeatedly hit the snooze button because you despise waking up with same amount of wrath that satan himself possesses? Do you literally just love coffee? Great, then THIS POST IS FOR YOU.

Disney

Maybe you feel all of those things on a deep level!!! In which case, definitely keep reading.

Sleepy heads of the world, allow me to introduce you to Death Wish ground coffee ($20). It's a specialty roast containing twice the amount of caffeine compared to an average cup of coffee — so, um yes, it really does live up to its name.

Amazon

According to their website, Death Wish coffee has 200% of the caffeine of an average cup of coffee (per 12 oz. cup), and is USDA-certified organic. I MEAN, HELLO, GOOD MORNING — that is a lot of freakin' caffeine.

Plus, it actually tastes good. After reading tons of reviews on this product, most everyone agrees that the flavor profile is rich, smooth, and bold (but we'll get to the reviews in a second).

Now, when I say people love this coffee, I mean people LOVE this coffee. It has over 15,000 positive reviews on Amazon, and a 4.6-star rating. And if you've ever perused Amazon, you know a 4.6-star rating is almost unheard of!

Amazon, amazon.com

Not to mention customers left some of the best damn reviews I have ever come across (and it's basically half of my job to read reviews, so I do not say this lightly!). I mean:

"Dear Death Wish, I just tried your coffee after receiving it the other day. I always start my day with about four cups so I thought, 'Eh, why not.' After about the third cup I decided to start that kitchen demolition I had been wanting to do. But I forgot to turn off the water beforehand. Then I thought, 'Eh, I always wanted an indoor pool.' Then I thought I should cut a hole in the roof to accommodate a skylight for the pool. Everything is going to plan but I need more coffee now. I need to start installing the diving board." —Littletree

Or:

"I AM DRINKING THIS COFFEE RIGHT NOW AND I CANNOT STOP SHOUTING AND WRITING IN CAPS LOCKS IT IS SO GOOD AND IT IS SUPER CAFFEINATED AND PUNCTUATION IS FOR LOSERS THAT LIKE WEAK COFFEE" —A. Smith

First off, this isn't some bland hotel-level coffee. Point in case: This reviewer noted the flavor's "wonderful rich and smooth 'bulk', no acidic aftertaste." Hey, that all sounds good to me!

New Line Cinema

"A colleague at work got me addicted to the point that I could no longer suck his resources but had to figure out where this liquid gold came from. I was super happy to find it on Amazon. You guys seriously make the BEST coffee I've ever drunk, and I've drunk quite a few... This coffee has a wonderful rich and smooth 'bulk', no acidic aftertaste, perfectly balanced. Not for the faint of heart, but also not that strong (some coffees are 'strong' but they just don't taste right) that people would drink it and not sleep for three days or have need for Tums. I would definitely recommend this to any coffee addict!!!!!" —Lucie

And this buyer swears by Death Wish to keep them going through a night shift:

amazon.com, amazon.com

"I cannot even begin to say how amazing this coffee is. I work the third shift at the hospital and I've always drunk coffee before my shift, but it always wore off a few hours in. This stuff is the only coffee that lasts the whole night and makes me feel great. I don't get jittery, a rapid heart rate, shaky — nothing! Plus, I don't crash from it either. I'm able to come home and sleep with no problem. It tastes pretty good just black, too. I've never reviewed anything on Amazon before but this stuff is so amazing that I just had to spread my good experience." —Amazon Customer

This person just left the best review so I obviously had to include it:

"I'm sold. I bought this to keep me alert and focused at work. By my second cup I no longer needed a keyboard or mouse, as I was able to control my computer directly by thought. By the third cup I could hear colors and smell sounds. After my fourth cup, I decided to burn off some of the excess energy with a quick jog, and ended up finishing the Kessel Run in 11 parsecs flat! Seriously... Buy this stuff!" —Erick W.

Now, because of the higher caffeine content, the recommended brewing ratio is 2.5 tablespoons of grinds per every 6 ounces of water. And maybe start with just one regular-sized cup of coffee so you don't end up like this:

Nickelodeon

"Ok folks words of warning, ration out your coffee. If you drink a 24 oz. Starbucks, you need an 8 oz. of this as your FIRST cup. I'm serious here, heed my warning or you could end up cleaning your entire house, doing all your yard work, making love to your partner, waxing your car, building a garage or single-handedly raising the Titanic on your own...all in the first hour after drinking this wonderful coffee. You have been warned." —ItsTheXFactor

Now kiss those sluggish mornings goodbye, and get your hands on this coffee, stat.

ABC

Some reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.

Get a 1-pound bag from Amazon for $19.99 (also available in K-cups here).

And find more coffee-related products here!

25 Of The Best Coffee Products You Can Get On Amazon

21 Products For Anyone Who Basically Bleeds Coffee

26 Things You Need If You Can Never Get Enough Caffeine

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