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I'm a 25-year-old woman who hadn't played video games since the Tony Hawk Pro Skater days of my youth — until recently. I played Fortnite once, and now it's literally all I think about. Here are some items I absolutely need now that this game is my life's singular passion:
1.A Nintendo Switch, because I can't *only* play The Beautiful Game when I'm at my friend Jim's house in Detroit once every few months. Gotta make an investment if I'm gonna pwn noobs every single day.
2.Some socks that perfectly demonstrate my love of both a game I barely know how to play as well as my incredible communication skills.
3.A T-shirt I plan on buying seven of, so I can wear it every day of the week. I have Fortnite Fever and the only cure is more Fortnite.
4.A battle bus lamp that will bring me sweet dreams of falling through the air to a stormy island where I will fight for my life. *Rachel thanked the bus driver.*
5.A throw pillow so all those who enter my abode know: this is my gaming sanctuary now.
6.Fortnite Monopoly that will probably teach me more about the characters than the actual video game tbh.
7.A book about how to draw Fortnite characters so I can spend my workdays shirking off responsibility in favor of doodling and daydreaming about getting home to my new Switch.
21.A pair of leggings so I can pretend to play Fortnite in the real world. Don't worry, for me that means standing in a bush pretending it's a good disguise.
22.A print that I fully expect to be ceremoniously presented with once I finally win, so in...five-ish years.
23.A dart blaster so I can practice my aim on empty La Croix cans on the other side of my room. Maybe one day I won't panic any time another player gets close to me, accidentally releasing seven balloons instead of taking aim.
24.And a themed box to keep all of my priceless Fortnite merch safe and sound. The best part of the game is quietly collecting things anyway — this is my extremely exciting, fun, and correct take.