31 Songs That Perfectly Explain Why Millennials Are The Trashiest, Messiest Generation
Before "WAP," there was Khia, Willa, and Tweet (the singer).
There's been some faux conservative controversy about the Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's "WAP" music video being "too sexual" or something...which is stupid because music has always been sexual. Millennials should know — we were raised on music that explains why we're all horny trash with daddy issues.
Here's a list of 31 songs that made millennials the trashy, messy people we are today:
1. "Dirrty" by Christina Aguilera
A song that popularized crotchless leather chaps, orgies in wrestling rings, and group sex in showers to teens everywhere.
2. "Hot in Herre" by Nelly
The song that invented the subgenre of music known as "songs you grind to at middle school dances."
3. "Naughty Girl" by Beyoncé
A middle school dance grinding staple.
4. "Fuck the Pain Away" by Peaches
This song was nothing but sex-positive.
5. "Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)" by Big & Rich
You know there are a ton of millennials who have memories of getting side-eye from their parents 'cause they'd only yell out the "Save a horse, ride a cowboy" verse whenever this came on the radio in the car.
6. "Lapdance" by N.E.R.D.
"Ooh, baby, you want me? Well, you can get this lap dance here for free!!!" —everyone on the dance floor screaming along during your middle school dance.
7. "I Wanna Be Bad" by Willa Ford
Millennials are who they are because of this woman right here, Willa Ford.
8. "Take It Off" by the Donnas
The lyrics "Stop starin' at my D cup / Don't waste time just give it to me / C'mon, baby, just feel me up / C'mon, just give it up" taught a whole generation of millennials that it's okay to be direct with a hookup!
9. "Get Low" by Lil Jon and the Eastside Boyz
*Screams* "To the windows / to the walls / to the sweat drop down my balls / to all these bitches crawl / to all skeet skeet motherfucker (motherfucker!) / all skeet skeet got dam (got dam)." A classic.
10. "Thong Song" by Sisqó
Invented "whale tail."
11. "I'm a Slave 4 U" by Britney Spears
Popularized the "sweaty" aesthetic.
12. "Lady Marmalade" by Christina Aguilera, Pink, Mya, and Lil' Kim
Because "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir)?" is still the only French I know...besides, like, bonjour.
13. "Wait (the Whisper Song)" by the Ying Yang Twins
"Wait till you see my dick, hey, bitch." —12-year-olds everywhere in 2005
14. "Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado and Timbaland
A catchy song about knowing you're about go home and fuck some random person you met at the club.
15. "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy
A catchy song about both cheating and fucking all over your house.
16. "What's Your Fantasy" by Ludacris
Ludacris could have 17 songs on this list, but I think this one fits best. King of corrupting youth.
17. "Too Close" by Next
This song is literally about a boner poking someone.
18. "How Many Licks?" by Lil' Kim feat. Sisqó
Sorry, Mr. Owl, this song wasn't about eating a Tootsie Pop.
19. "Liquid Dreams" by O-Town
This song is literally about cum.
20. "Milkshake" by Kelis
An important milestone in millennial history.
21. "Bossy" by Lindsay Lohan
An underrated Lilo classic.
22. "Peaches & Cream" by 112
The double entendres in this song were not subtle, and you knew exactly what they were singing about..."know what I mean?!"
23. "Dip It Low" by Christina Milian
Taught you how to make your man say, "Oooh."
24. "Oops (Oh My)" by Tweet
Before Twitter, there was Tweet. A revolutionary of her time.
25. "Slow" by Kylie Minogue
Reminds me of an orgy.
26. "Pony" by Ginuwine
"Pony" = a dick.
27. "Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls feat. Snoop Dogg
A song that raised our generation.
28. "Bad Touch" by the Bloodhound Gang
Find me a fifth-grader in 2000 who didn't know every word to this song.
29. "Me & U" by Cassie
*Crawls on a dining room table, pretends to be a stripper, was 10 years old.*
30. "My Neck, My Back (Lick It)" by Khia
This song brought eating ass (and everything else) to the forefront of millennial culture.
31. "In My Pocket" by Mandy Moore
For those who don't know, this song had a hidden message: When she says "nothing but pennies in my pocket," it totally sounds like "nothing but panties in my pocket." The more you know.
