1. Mia Wasikowska would play Muriel and Rose Byrne would be a bad arse Rhonda.
2. Rebel Wilson would kill it as Joanie, improv-ing all her lines and Margot Robbie would be head of the mean girls as Tania Degano.
3. Muriel would be obsessed with pinning wedding dresses on Pinterest.
4. Her favourite music would be Spice Girls even though everyone around her would be a Swifty.
5. Tania and her squad would be decked out in activewear in every scene.
6. Muriel's dad would be a pushy rep for NutriBullet.
7. Tania would mock Muriel by saying, "let her finish her Skinny Girl margarita" instead of an "Orgasm".
8. Instead of the Hibiscus Island tropical party it would be Stereosonic on the Gold Coast.
9. Muriel would get an unpaid internship at Presto.
10. Tania would catch her husband cheating via the Ashlee Madison leak.
11. Breakers would be a Paleo-themed cocktail bar.
12. Muriel and Rhonda would bond over a drunk kebab.
13. Rhonda would be a massive vaper.
14. "Now back to this troll-faced bitch who had a lot to say about me in high school, TANIA, WHAT'S GOOD?"
15. Rhonda and Muriel would lip sync to "Spice Up Your Life" in the bar.
16. Muriel would drive a green Mazda 6.
17. Joanie would spend the whole time tweeting, "You're terrible Muriel".
18. Rhonda would take Muriel and Brice to Cargo Bar.
19. When Muriel invites Brice back to her house she would offer him a Nespresso.
20. Brice would ask Muriel to "Netflix and chill".
21. And he would be an Uber driver.
22. Rhonda would have a threesome with two actors on a break from filming the Pirates of the Caribbean sequel in QLD.
23. Rhonda would fall over trying to make a Vine of her conquests "attacking" Brice.
24. And then she would binge watch Orange Is The New Black while rehabilitating.
25. Muriel's parents would post on Facebook asking her to come home and it would go viral.
26. She would upload an album of her "wedding" photos to Facebook and forget to set it to private.
27. And then she would be left crying at the Wedding Expo at Sydney Showgrounds.
28. To find a sham husband, Muriel would use Tinder's "Super Like" function.
29. The guy she finds would be one of The Bachelorette rejects.
30. Muriel would eventually find her dream wedding dress at David Jones but then would buy it cheaper from eBay.
31. There would be a Spice Girls flash mob at Muriel's wedding.
32. And Mamamia would live tweet the whole thing.
33. Her wedding song would be "2 Become 1".
34. Malcolm Turnbull would tweet his condolences after the death of Muriel's mum.
35. Muriel and Rhonda would update their My Story on Snapchat with them flipping the bird to Porpoise Spit.
36. Muriel would still wear all the same things tho - '90s fashion is so on point.
