1. Watch John Oliver break down FIFA, the organization responsible for running the World Cup, in a hilarious and totally unsettling analysis of the groups myriad corruption scandals on his HBO show Last Week Tonight.
2. “Telling someone about the inner workings of FIFA for the first time is a bit like showing someone ‘Two Girls, One Cup,’ you do it mainly so you can watch the horrifying expression on people’s faces.”
3. “Think of money as pubic hair and FIFA as wax. Oh, they’re going to be all over you during the World Cup, but when they go they’re taking all the money with them — including some from some places you didn’t even know you had any money.”
4. “By Brazil’s own estimates, they’re allowing FIFA to forego $250 million in taxes. Somewhere Wesley Snipes is going so soccer was the answer.”
5. “[FIFA] successfully pressured Brazil into passing a so-called ‘Budweiser’ bill — allowing beer sales in soccer stadiums — at this point you can either be horrified by that or relieved that FIFA wasn’t also sponsored by cocaine and chainsaws.”
6. “If you think FIFA can’t get anymore cartoonishly evil, this is their headquarter’s actual boardroom. That’s right, FIFA apparently modeled where they meet on the war room from Dr. Strangelove.”
7. On FIFA president, Sepp Blatter: “If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.”
8. On reports of deadly construction conditions in Qatar for World Cup 2022: “So what you’re saying is the Qatar World Cup is shaping up to be the most deadly Middle East construction project since this one.”
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