We hope you love our recommendations! Some may have been sent as samples, but all were independently selected by our editors. Just FYI, BuzzFeed and its publishing partners may collect a share of sales and/or other compensation from the links on this page.
You clicked on this post for a reason: You hate feeling judged by the cashier judge for your purchases (even if they’re not really judging you!). Luckily, you can avoid this situation by buying these things online. Let’s get to it, and I promise I won’t tell anyone you were ever here.
1. The highly rated Satisfyer Pro 2 uses gentle pulses of air to simulate the feeling of oral sex. Some reviewers claim they use it every day.
2. Some anti-dandruff shampoo will help fight against the toughest of flakes. If you’re the kind of person who gets uncomfortable buying it at the store, you can just get it online.
3. A sturdy pet stroller that’s made for those of us who treat our pets as our own flesh and blood. The only people who will be embarrassed by this are the other pet owners who didn’t care enough to buy this for their pets.
4. This wine glass can hold up to 750ml of wine, which is the typical size of a wine bottle (or, in this case, a regular serving for you).
5. This cannabis cookbook you how to take advantage of the legalization of marijuana all while baking some easy-to-make desserts. Sure, it’s legal, but if you’re too squeamish to buy this in person, we understand.
6. A Squatty Potty that’ll help you poop with ease. This doctor-recommended product has over 950 positive reviews, meaning you’ll be taking a number two with no pooblem.
7. Speaking of number two, spraying some Poo-Pourri in the toilet before you go will trap and conceal any smells during your visit to the bathroom. It’ll help you avoid any shitty situations.
8. Some people hate toe socks. But for those who are unabashed toe sock stans, allow yourself that toe separating sensation with these no-show toe socks. Just like pineapple on pizza, toe socks are a personal choice that you shouldn’t feel embarrassed by.
9. Speaking of feet, this electric foot file will buff your feet to perfection, giving you that quality pedicure feeling in the comfort of your own home. No more nasty glares from Gina while she scrubs your feet at the salon.
10. This bag of cereal marshmallows is your childhood dream come true. Remember when your mom would tell you to stop eating just the marshmallows, ’cause it was supposed to be eaten with the cereal? Not anymore, mom!
11. You should never be embarrassed of practicing safe sex, but if you want to avoid the in-person hassle, you can stock up on these highly-rated super-thin Durex lubricated condoms.
12. While we’re at it, you can’t go wrong with some bestselling water-based lube. Not only is it vegan-friendly, but it’s made for those with sensitive skin.
13. If you’re unlucky enough to contract lice, this lice remover is made with natural oils that’ll help eliminate and repel them from your scalp. Why deal with those pesty cashiers when you already have pests in your hair to deal with?!
14. A cat licking brush is a therapeutic way to bond with your cat, all while keeping your kitty nice and groomed. It’s a purrfect product for cat lovers, but perhaps you don’t want other people to know your feline business.
15. Some shoe deodorizer balls will keep your shoes smelling fresh even after the sweatiest of workouts. Now those around you will think you have naturally sweet-smelling feet, even though you’ll know otherwise.
16. This companion pillow is the partner that will never let you down. They’re always there to cuddle, they’re cozy AF, and they never argue with you. Sure, some people may think you’re a bit odd, but that’s just because they’ve never known a love this comfortable.
17. A disposable urinal pouch is a must for any road trip experience. When you gotta go, you gotta go, even if there’s no bathroom nearby!
18. Depending on your sexual habits, you may want to invest in a reusable enema kit. With a travel-size kit with multiple nozzles to fit any hole, you can rinse clean and ensure your sexual encounter isn’t too messy.
19. Even though it’s a useful tool, you might be embarrassed to buy a selfie-stick in person. And you don’t have to! Just buy it online, and you can take your new profile photo or turn it into a tripod and pose for a great family photo.
20. A sturdy pair of handcuffs will allow you to live out out some of your fantasies, whatever they may be.
21. A blackhead pore vacuum that’ll remove the gunk in your face and free your skin of excess oil, dead skin cells, and, of course, blackheads. And if you don’t want anyone but you and your mirror to know about it, that’s up to you.
22. This Neti Pot comes handy during cold and flu season, a nose filled with snot is nobody’s idea of a good time. Fill the pot with a mixture of sinus rinse formula, pour it into your nose, and watch everything clear right out.
23. Last but not least, this Clone-a-Willy vibrating dildo kit allows you to make a mould of an existing penis you enjoy and are familiar with, and then turn it into a dildo to be used at your leisure. It’s great for couples in a long-distance relationship, or really, any consenting adults who think it might be fun.
You after avoiding buying any of this stuff in person:
