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1. A five-tier pants hanger so you can make room in your closet by taking advantage of vertical space. Plus, this'll save you from those dreaded creases caused by folding your pants!
2. Pro Filt'r Soft Matte Longwear Foundation if you want a long-lasting foundation that keeps your oiliness under wraps and last all day without creasing or clogging your pores.
3. A body scrub with alpha hydroxy acids (AHAs) that'll gently exfoliate the skin if keratosis pilaris (dry, rough skin and tiny bumps on the upper arms, thighs, butt, and cheeks) is throwing off your groove.
4. A TubShroom if your relaxing showers have turned into you standing in a puddle of water for 15 minutes because the drain is clogged...again. This little guy snags the hair you shed before it can collect in the pipes.
5. A pack of metal S hook hangers to hold the belts and scarves that have no real home in your closet.
6. A bottle of Futuredew because it gives your skin that dewy, glowy, I-just-got-eight-hours-of-sleep look. Apply it as a last step in your skincare routine and enjoy 12 hours of bright, radiant skin.
7. A hydroponic AeroGarden so you can grow fresh herbs (and even salad greens) on your counter without soil (no soil = no mess!). It even reminds you when to feed your plamps so people with black thumbs can participate.
8. An automatic jar opener for loosening that tricky jar of pasta sauce. Just sit it on top of your jar and press the green button. The robot arms will tighten around the mouth and twist until the lid pops off. *Chandler Bing voice* Could it *be* any easier?
9. Bar Keeper's Friend, a hardworking cleanser because you're tired of scrubbing (and scrubbing) the food bits burned onto your stove and not seeing it get any cleaner. It's safe to use on porcelain, stainless steel, copper, so bye bye stains!
10. A hanging organizer with three roomy shelves for organizing your closet and fooling everyone into believing that you're a neat person.
11. A handy multi-tool that'll do just about any job you ask it to do. It functions as a pair of pliers (needle-nose and regular), scissors, screwdrivers, wire cutters, tweezers, wood and metal file, straight knife, and a bottle opener.
12. A pack of bottle cleaning tablets so you can reclaim your favorite thermos from the pile of forgotten mugs. These tablets will lift old stains and odors so your cups are finally usable again.
13. A moisturizing hand and nail cream with shea butter and avocado to repair your dry, cracked paws. It smells like citrus (yum!) and won't leave behind a greasy film.
14. PrettyLitter, a color-changing kitty litter that'll help you monitor your cat's internal health. The color of the crystals may indicate conditions like UTIs, bladder inflammation, and infection.
15. Balm Dotcom, a hydrating lip balm for anyone who's tried just about ever moisturizing lip treatment without success. This one's made with castor oil, lanolin, and beeswax to lock in moisture and create a protective barrier.
16. A Tushy bidet attachment so you can pamper your patootie. Not only will it help you use less TP, but it also just leaves you feeling cleaner after you go.
17. A cozy pet sofa to spoil your pet and convince them to give up their spot on the couch...which used to be your favorite spot. This stylish *and* functional seating option for Fido comes with a machine-washable removable cushion so you cleanup is easy.
18. A mattifying sheet mask that'll help reduce your oiliness and shine so your forehead doesn't look like an oil slick by 3 p.m. Another added benefit: less oil potentially means less breakouts!
19. A FURminator brush for pets who just. won't. stop. shedding. They'll love the brushing and you'll love not having to lint roll your pants every time you get up from the couch.
20. Some self-tanning drops so your skin always looks like you've been chillaxing at the beach for the summer (even if you only go outside to get the mail) — but without the risk of skin cancer!
21. A longwear matte lipstick to make you feel like you're the only one in the world who has found the a liquid lippie that won't budge. The rest of your lipsticks can ~take a bow~.
22. A versatile pair of minimalist mules you can wear around the house or in public. It has a soft leather insole so you can stand all day without pain.
23. An eyebrow grooming gel like Boy Brow for taming your unruly eyebrows or creating fluffy caterpillars from sparse, barely-there hairs.
24. An eco-friendly collapsible popcorn popper to whip up delicious kernels for movie night. It's dishwasher-safe and folds down so it takes up less space in your pantry. The best part = not having to throw away wasteful microwave popcorn bags!
25. An acne patch because a pimple or a breakout shouldn't ruin your otherwise good day. Hydrocolloid, tea tree oil, and calendula oil are gentle on the skin while still drawing out fluids and pus from your pimple.
26. Olaplex, a splurge-worthy repairing treatment if your dry, damaged, colored hair needs some reviving. As someone who spends four-plus hours bleaching my hair every six to eight weeks, I can 100% vouch for this miracle in a bottle, which helps my hair feel thick and strong.
27. A lightweight puffer jacket because it's the perfect outerwear for this between-spring-and-summer weather. Reviewers say it's warm despite being lightweight and that it will last your for-ev-er.
28. A puff vest version of the jacket if you need want an extra layer of warmth over your outerwear or you need just a bit of coverage for chilly early morning runs.
29. A mug warmer that'll keep your coffee, tea, or hot cocoa piping hot. Repeat after me: There's nothing worse than room-temp coffee. There's nothing worse than room-temp coffee. There's nothing worse...
30. Or an Ember Mug2 because it's a smart mug that allows you to pick the exact temperature of your drink from your phone or smart watch.
31. A reusable K-cup pod if you're tired of spending money (and making more trash!) on K-cups you use once and toss. This lil' purple guy is reusable so you can fill it up with whatever coffee grounds you're feeling. Once you've brewed your mug, clean out the K-cup and use it again tomorrow (or later today if you can't get through the day without at least three cups).
32. Killawatt highlighter if you're trying to follow Rihanna's example and shine bright like a diamond. Its cream powder formula is blendable and feels practically weightless on your skin!
Me congratulating all these products for being hella good at their jobs:
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