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1. A bug bite suction tool that'll actually *remove* venom, saliva, or other irritants to ease swelling and stop those 'squito bite itches once and for all. Good news: you don't need to press that "x"-shape into your skin anymore with a fingernail.
2. A heatable/freezable uterus to cuddle up with when pesky cramps are just getting too much. I mean, it's pretty darn cute(rus).
3. A handheld back roller so you can give (and get) relaxing massages without anyone's hands cramping. Sleep funny last night? You'll find this ahhhh-mazing.
4. A pack of individually-wrapped ginger drops for help stopping nausea and seasickness in their tracks — without the doziness you might get from other remedies.
5. Sugru, a moldable glue you can use for SO MANY PURPOSES. You can fix fraying wires, hang pictures (without a nail), create ergonomic grips on tools, and soooooo much more.
6. A Burt's Bees sunburn soother, because you KNOW you don't reapply sunscreen as often as you should anyway. It's made with a blend of aloe and coconut oil for deeply moisturizing relief that *doesn't* feel greasy.
7. A liquid-free rolling screen cleaner so when you're home sick and sneeze all over your laptop, you can get those snot droplets (snotlets, if you will) off immediately.
8. A few sheets of LED-dimming stickers to finally keep those pesky router, TV, clock, and other electronic lights from ruining your ~room of complete darkness~. Every time you get a new electronic device, you'll be so happy you have a sheet of these.
9. A pack of Avarelle pimple patches formulated with tea tree oil and calendula oil (to heal and shrink zits faster overnight). AND they come in two sizes — classic circular patches & large, square patches so you can easily treat and shrink clusters of pimples all at once.
10. Or a pack of microneedle pimple patches designed specially for emerging, active, and cystic acne. The super-thin (thinner than a strand of hair) needles penetrate the blemish, delivering ingredients like salicylic acid and tea tree oil below the surface of the skin to combat acne where it lives — plus hyaluronic acid to prevent over-drying.
11. A bottle of Downy wrinkle release spray you can just spritz on and magically reveal crease-free clothing when you can't bear to even wait the 90 seconds for your steamer to heat up.
12. A stainless steel tongue cleaner that'll make halitosis a distant memory. You won't even know what kind of bad breath–causing gunk is on your tongue until you see the results for yourself!
13. A bottle of all-natural, plant-based Puracy stain remover powered by enzymes to completely remove the most annoying stains (we're talking grass, blood, tomato, oil, sweat, and more!). Spray on and let sit overnight for the toughest spots.
14. A scratch-removing car restoration kit with a buffing pad and polish to make those door-scraping accidents a worry of the past. Your car will look brand-new, but you won't have to spend the big bucks.
15. A grocery list notepad stuck right on your fridge so you 1) never forget anything at the grocery store, and 2) stop wasting money on impulse purchases you don't *actually* need. Stick to the list!
16. A handy dandy portable charger for all those times you leave the house without checking how much battery power you have. Oh, am I the only one who does that?
17. And a rapid car charger with a whopping FIVE USB ports and a FIVE-FOOT cable to power up the whole family's devices on the go. No more fighting, kids!
18. A pet-feeding reminder chart so you never have to ask yourself whether you fed Rufus, or if that was yesterday.......
19. A mega-pack of precision-tip swabs for correcting eyeliner, applying concealer right around your lipstick line, removing errant mascara marks, and more.
20. A fold-up duffel to bring on vacation when you KNOW you'll be bringing back more than you came with. It folds into a teensy pouch when not in use, is tear- and water-resistant, and even has a separate side pocket for shoes.
21. A lil' tin of breath mints that'll pack a big punch of energy when you're hitting that inescapable 3 p.m. slump — that's right, there's 40mg of caffeine per mint! Plus a complex of vitamins.
22. A handy-dandy plate cover to keep food-plosions from splattering the inside of your microwave (looking at you, tomato sauce and baked beans!). It has magnets on top, so you can store it *in* the microwave between uses so your fam never forgets to cover their food again.
23. A weighted blanket reviewers swear by to help with anxiety, stress, and insomnia. The just-heavy-enough pressure can help you relax and feel comforted enough to drift off.
24. A super-speedy wine stain remover so you can quickly undo Sandra's sloshing all over your pristine white couch and carpet, without losing your ~temper-nillo~. Now you can get back to enjoying the party.
25. A foldable handheld fan to bring a surprising amount of cooling power on the go. Or to pretend your hair is being blown back in a photo shoot — totally up to you!
26. A drain snake with over 4,000 micro hooks and a slim design to shimmy down any drain (you don't even need to remove the cover) and snag all the hairs and goop that's clogging the system — in one quick pull. Next time, just buy a Tubshroom to prevent this even in the first place.
27. A microfiber cloth to remove every single trace of dirt and makeup (even waterproof formulas!) with just water and in ONE swipe, so you can get to bed STAT without breaking out 1,000 different makeup removers, cleansers, etc.
28. A Zipuller for those mornings where your reaching around the back to zip up that dress but simply CANNOT. Leave your roommate alone — you can handle things now.
29. A Migrastil roll-on stick to help evaporate your migraine or tension headache within minutes. Just apply the blend of essential oils (including lavender, spearmint, and peppermint) onto your temples, forehead, and the back of your neck — and POOF! Relief is here.
30. A compact hook so you can keep your nice handbag off the floor, whether you're in the car or in a restroom with no hook (ugh don't you hate when that happens?!).
31. A pair of soft silicone grips to keep your glasses from slipping off your face when you look down. This is one of those inventions that makes you think "Well why didn't I think of that?!"
32. A bottle of Poo-Pourri you (and your guests) will be so happy to have on top of the porcelain throne. No one will know you just dropped a big stinker, because this makes the worst bathroom odors a thing of the past — without a weird and heavy "masking" smell.
33. A pack of bamboo charcoal blotting sheets to banish that afternoon forehead grease — you're glowing, but not oily!
34. A lavender and chamomile aromatherapy mist to spray on everything and make your bedroom a ~Cave of Slumbers~ when you're staring up at the ceiling at 2:47 a.m. and chanting "GO TO SLEEP!"
35. A jar of Olly Restful Sleep gummies formulated with melatonin and l-theanine, lemon balm, and chamomile to help you naturally drift off and support your sleep cycle. And hello, nighttime snack!
36. An odor-eliminating candle that'll truly knock out the worst pet stinks and leaving your home smelling ahhh-mazing.
Live footage of me when the sunburn soother arrived in the mail:
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