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1. A bug bite suction tool that'll actually *remove* venom, saliva, or other irritants to ease swelling and stop those 'squito bite itches once and for all. Good news: you don't need to press that "x"-shape into your skin anymore with a fingernail.
2. Puzzlesnacks, a book of over 100 different kinds of mini, but challenging puzzles when you want to work your brain a bit but not sit frustrated for hours and hours.
3. A mason jar grating lid set so you can quickly shred parmesan or cheddar cheese for easy storage in your fridge — or to quickly (and neatly) whip up shredded veggies for salad toppings, grated ginger for stir fries, etc.!
4. A heatable/freezable uterus to cuddle up with when pesky cramps are just getting too much. I mean, it's pretty darn cute(rus).
5. A liquid-free rolling screen cleaner that'll clean your tablet, phone, laptop, and more once and for all. You know when your screen goes dark and you're like "Oh wow, I'm disgusting!" That's over now.
7. A colorful four-piece geometric tray set you can stack up to organize all your pretty little trinkets or bites & snacks while adding to your home decor aesthetic.
8. A Schick touch up razor to shape your eyebrows, remove peach fuzz hairs *and* dermaplane your skin, gently exfoliating and removing dead skin. Facials are expensive.
9. A brass cactus jewelry organizer for an adorable way to store and display your favorite earrings, rings, bracelets, and necklaces. Plus, you won't feel like a ~prick~ when you realize you're not wearing your jewelry enough.
10. A slim, protective wallet smartphone case so you can head out for the day without carrying 50,000 things.
11. A gorgeous Puffin in Bloom edition of Little Women in anticipation of the upcoming Greta Gerwig–directed adaptation. I'm just so excited to cry, you guys!
12. A super-simple veggie ricer, because Trader Joe's is, like, always out of frozen cauliflower rice, and I just can't TAKE it anymore.
13. A clever little Tarte lip gloss and brush set shaped like a bottle of wine and wine glass, respectively. And unlike a lot of novelty beauty products, these are also *great* quality.
14. A pack of anti-vibration pads, because laundry day is a chore enough without the rattling of the machines ruining your simultaneous Netflix binge.
15. A two-pack of mint-flavored teeth whitening pens you can just brush on and remove those deep-set coffee, tea, and wine stains — without all the hassle of those trays or strips.
16. A sheet mask — FOR YOUR BUTT, because why should your face have all the fun? It'll moisturize and tone (hello aloe and chamomile), with one sheet for each cheek. 🍑
17. A cocktail-inspired Sunshine Spritz (with notes of prosecco, orange, and wild berries) or Midsummer Mojito (with notes of lime, rum, and sugared vanilla) for a scent that's almost as refreshing as the real thing.
18. A body brush you can use dry or wet with a mix of soft, sturdy bristles and massaging nodules to banish dry and dead skin cells, help increase circulation, and make your skin G L O W.
19. A pack of Miracle-Gro plant food *spikes* to revive and nourish all the flowering or foliage plants you'd otherwise CERTAINLY kill.
20. A Good Advice Cupcake-inspired tee that'll remind you that your sweet personality is best tempered with a little, actually a lot, of spice.
21. A super-precise marker-tip liquid eyeliner to give you a perfectly crisp cat eye and improve the appearance of your lashes over time, thanks to the *built-in serum* formulated with castor oil.
22. A Beer 101 infographic print for an easy dash of kitchen decor that ALSO provides a heck of a lot of info, including suggested glassware, alcohol content, and hop characteristics.
23. A stainless steel Sink Shroom from the makers of the cult-fave TubShroom that'll blend right in with your sink and keep *all* the pesky food remnants from clogging your drain.
24. A Frasier title card sweatshirt that'll feel as cozy as re-watching your favorite episodes when you have trouble sleeping.
25. A champagne stopper to preserve the bubbles in your half-finished bottle of sparkling wine for DAYS. Aka this is the perfect accessory for Aperol spritz szn.
26. Antimicrobial silicone sponges that'll never get stinky — they're almost 100% resistant to mold and mildew, more durable than regular sponges, and won't scratch your pots and pans!
27. A pack of individually-wrapped ginger drops for help stopping nausea and seasickness in their tracks — without the doziness you might get from other remedies.
28. A stretchy + soft top to show off your back while still feeling comfy. You'll be able to rock this year-round too!
29. A Schitt's Creek coloring book that I would personally cry while filling in. ::sings "You're simply the best" between sobs::
Me, looking at every single one of these:
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