1. Scary silhouette man.
Must be a: Pacy, hard-hitting thriller for holidaying dads.
2. Woman holding a birdcage for some reason.
Must be a: Spooky period tale in the Woman In Black vein.
3. Man lurking by fence.
Must be an: Atmospheric crime novel, featuring a hard-bitten and psychologically complex detective.
(Add fog, for period effect).
4. Woman in long white dress.
Must be a: Novel aimed at women. But with literary pretensions. Definitely not chick lit.
5. Woman in long backless dress.
Must be a: Tale of high-society intrigue (and just a hint of naughtiness) set in the '20s/'30s.
6. Bloke with sword.
Must be a: Fantasy epic. Part of a long, long series.
7. Bloke in hood.
Must be a: Same again, but featuring some kind of wizard/magical monk.
8. Bloke wearing hood and carrying sword.
Must be a: Fantasy yet again, but this time with a ninja/samurai element.
9. Woman looking out over water.
Must be a: Wistful tale of love, loss and regret, which your mum will read in the bath.
10. Shadowy man walking into the distance.
Must be a: "Taut thriller", according to Richard And Judy's Book Club.
11. Woman with luggage.
Must be a: Forgettable airport novel featuring a bland and materialistic married couple going through difficulties.
12. Woman's legs.
Must be an: Intermittently humorous book about a quirky and self-deprecating woman's quest to have lots of hot sex.
13. Lots of black and red. Gothic font.
Must be a: Twilight wannabe.
14. Pink and sparkly.
Must be a: Chick-lit romp, which has sold in unimaginable quantities.
15. High heels, muted tones.
Must be a: Shameless Fifty Shades of Grey rip-off.
16. Jewellery, muted tones.
Must be a: Same again, but with more romance, less bondage.
17. Child's sad face, handwriting-style font.
Must be a: Misery memoir, supposedly based on real life.
18. Spooky road to nowhere.
Must be a: No-nonsense page-turner, for which the film rights have almost certainly already been sold.
19. Just some leaves.
Must be: Vaguely related to nature. Very much a "will this do?" Father's Day gift.
h/t: Caustic Cover Critic, The Book Smugglers, and David Horspool of the TLS for having spotted a few of these. Inspired by Private Eye, who have an occasional column on this subject.