You have a nickname for your dog that’s a shortened version of their nameYou also call them by a made-up pet nameActually, you have like 193 names for your dogYou've celebrated your dog's birthdayYou've also thrown your dog a birthday partyAnd bought them presentsYou've talked to your dog using a baby voiceYou've let your dog lick you directly on the faceYou've let your dog sleep in your bed with youBut you've also bought your dog its own comfortable bedYou've thought about your dog anytime you aren't with themAnd you've wondered if they are thinking about you, tooYour dog has chewed up something of value and you weren't that madYou've spent a very long time choosing their dog foodAs well as their treatsYou've fed them scraps of human foodYou've bought them at least one Halloween costumeAnd you've made them wear a holiday sweaterYou own more than one piece of clothing for your dogYou snap your dog at least once a dayAnd you've had to offload all your dog photos because you didn't have any more storageYou've thought about how they look cute while peeingYou've taken them to a doggie spaYou've taken them to a doggie hotelYou've had entire conversations with themYou've wondered what it would be like to text your dogYou've been personally offended when someone doesn't comment on how cute your dog isYou've given up parts of your wardrobe for them to chew on because it makes them happyYou've found yourself in Target spending more money on them than on yourselfYou've attempted to teach them how to hug youYou've planned your weekends around your dogYou've bought them more than seven types of treatsYou've bought them a Puppuccino beforeYou only give them filtered water to drink
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