We recently shared a post about popular parenting trends that are toxic and a lot of our BuzzFeed readers had much more to share. So, we want to continue the discussion here. After reading, let us know your perspectives in the comments!
1. Using children as content in social media seems to be the number one complaint people have today when it comes to parenting. "Family vloggers, mommy vloggers, van life vloggers, pranksters. There are even parents who consciously or unconsciously stage their children in inappropriate ways," tinoundleidak said.
"It makes me so uncomfortable to see children being used for likes, especially if they’ve got their body on display. These are little people, not accessories, and they are entitled to the same autonomy as you. Would you want someone putting a picture of your belly rolls on social media because 'it's cute'?! Until a person can consent to their images being used, they shouldn’t be. So many children now have a huge online presence before they even own an electronic device. Also once you put a picture out there, no matter how secure your social media is, it’s out there for good and you never know who’s looking at it."
"There are also 'social media moms'. Not just the influencers but the regular ones who constantly post everything they do with their children so that everyone knows what a great mom they are. It's especially irritating if you happen to know for a fact that it's all for show."
2. While a healthy balance of career and family life can be positive, BuzzFeed user witchycentipede62 thinks too many parents today overly obsess about their careers. She explains, "I'm sorry, but if BOTH parents treat their children like an afterthought in favor of their jobs (full-time and beyond), the children suffer emotionally. I knew one boy from a well-off family whose parents were never available, and his biggest wish was to 'spend more time with dad.' He walked around in clothes that were too small and dirty because his parents never had time to wash them or buy new ones..."
3. And jenniferj32 says too many parents today are pulling their kids out of sex ed, science or history classes because they don’t want their kid to learn anything that disagrees with their beliefs.
4. Telling your child they won't like something is a big one that sticks out for winterwednesday9. "My sister has done this to my nephew his entire life. Now, he's 14 and refuses to try anything. No new foods, no new activities (which means he does NOTHING) — nothing. She just did it again at Easter. He went to try a different kind of chip (other than the plain tortilla chips he usually eats) and she piped up with, 'You won't like that'. LET HIM TRY IT. He's going to miss out on so much in life because he refuses to try."
5. nurseynurse said it is common for many parents not to vaccinate their kids in 2024. "I’m a pediatric nurse and we see this often. We just had a neonate who had a heart defect — his mom smoked weed while she was pregnant. The baby needed surgery right away, and the parents refused the hepatitis B vaccine even though they knew the baby would have to get many blood transfusions. That’s what they chose to take a stand on. So frustrating!!"
6. christen850 is a teacher who thinks parents who refuse to believe their kids use social media are doing them a big disservice. "I once called a mom regarding her 8th-grade daughter going on Instagram Live in the middle of class. The mom’s reply was: 'My daughter doesn’t have a phone. We don’t allow her on social media.' …Ma’am, yes she does. She is on it every day. Hell, she once DMed me on Instagram to ask if she left her charger behind in class."
7. sarah9488 is another teacher who says parents today are just buying kids toys to get them to stop throwing tantrums instead of actually disciplining them. "I teach preschool and kids are just out of control these days. They have iPads all the time. We had a kid who was so tired all day, and it turns out his parents give him an iPad at nighttime and he stays on it til 11 p.m.!"
8. Gendered parenting is also still very much a thing. BuzzFeed reader silencesilence gave an example, "Saying that girls are being 'oversensitive' when they complain about boys acting inappropriately responding with things like, 'boys will be boys' or scolding boys who cry because 'real men don't cry' and so on."
9. Being your child's "best friend" is something elinumber2 says is very toxic. "If you have a 'special connection' with your child, you likely ignore your child's boundaries and/or don't allow them to develop any boundaries. The same applies to reacting emotionally when your child asserts a boundary."
10. Parents who say empty threats without ever actually disciplining their children can be quite common and quite unhelpful for kids. brandonbear35 shared, "Every time I hear a parent say to their demonic child, 'If you don’t stop doing that' or 'if you do that one more time...' I just want to ask them, 'What will you do? By the looks of it, you’ve never actually disciplined your child before. So are you actually going to do something, or just let them continue to be a nuisance?'"
11. In addition, parents who don't give their kids space to fix their own mistakes are negatively affecting them. As reader applesauceandchops put it, "These parents don't allow their kids to 'clean up their messes.' The kids will hit roadblocks, and as they get older, we need to allow them to figure out how to work around them. If there’s a problem at school, encourage them to write to the teacher and offer to meet and discuss. Once they are in their teens, they need to learn to self-advocate."
12. weapologisefortheincovenience stated that parents who force strict religious beliefs upon their kids are doing them a disservice. "Let them grow up and discover for themselves if they want to believe, and if so, which one to follow."
13. And scheduling every minute of your child’s life can also be very unhealthy, according to jadefishes. "They need time to develop their own interests, to explore, even to be bored (meaning not attached to a screen 24/7 either)."
14. Not to mention, there are also what society calls "beige moms." hejsoxhhsiduwu explains, "Beige moms literally hate it when their child becomes attached to something because it’s colorful. I’ve seen them spray painting toys so that they fit their own aesthetic rather than make the damn kid happy."
"I knew someone who did their baby’s nursery in beige and wanted the baby ONLY to wear neutrals. It’s just so weird. Babies love color. They are learning and developing from seeing it. Let them enjoy it. Don’t make them your weird aesthetic."
