After having my first son in an Air Force hospital with Stadol administered twice during labor, and having a less than wonderful experience, with my second son, I gave birth in a maternity center, and chose not to have pain medication.  Technically I didn’t give birth without medication - I had 20 hours of pitocin, which is pretty much the opposite of pain medication. Pitocin is used to induce and/or strengthen contractions, and I had it because 18 hours after my water breaking at full term*, I still wasn’t having more than very mild contractions.  With both my kids, I had back labor. Instead of having any pain in my stomach or abdomen, almost all of the pain that I felt was in the small of my back. I remember describing contractions as feeling like someone was wrapping a hot wire around my spine and pulling it tight. I say that I remember describing it that way because I have found that very soon after having both sons, I couldn’t viscerally remember the pain of labor and delivery anymore.  The unexpected or not often described bit wasn’t that I felt myself pooping while pushing. I thought I felt myself pooping, but I was actually pushing out a hemorrhoid.  The ring of fire when my son’s 15” head was crowning was 100% a thing. It burned like someone was hitting my nethers with a blowtorch. That was when I told my OB that I didn’t want an episiotomy if she could help it and her only response was, “Okay, so stop pushing.” I stopped pushing, which trust me, is easier said than done at that point, she did something absolutely magical - idk what, burnt offerings, sacrificing a goat, paying off the perineum fairy - and somehow managed to get my 9 lb 2 oz boy out without more than a tiny abrasion to my perineum that didn’t need stitches.  That said, even with her miracle working, when my son’s shoulder finally emerged from my body, I screamed loudly enough that my 12 year old, who chose to wait outside, heard me.  No one ever really seems to talk about delivering the placenta, either. My experience was that it didn’t hurt but there’s something really disconcerting about having something that feels like a beef liver come sliding out of the wide open slip and slide that your vagina feels like right after pushing out a small human.  There isn’t a whole lot about delivering a baby that’s dignified in an everyday sense, but it’s so damned miraculous that it brings its own dignity.  *It’s actually much more unusual for labor to start with your water breaking than portrayed on TV, but that’s exactly how it went with both of my kids. With my first I thought I’d lost control of my bladder when I was on my way to the bathroom, and with my second I woke up in a wet bed.

I learned something new today. I didn’t know there was no way to automate crochet. It makes me proud of my self-taught crochet skills.

I don’t know why that one made me laugh, either, but it did. At least I work at home.

That phrase brought me joy. May I someday find a partner who gets the beauty of that phrase.

Breathe. Then reread. Then consider the art of the apology.

I was on board with keeping extras in the car right up until the part about bleeding to death without them. I’m just trying to picture a world in which that actually happened.

How do you people who think your period stops in water think that works? Is it magic? Does the water make your vagina hold itself shut? Your period doesn’t stop just because you’re bathing or swimming. Stick a finger up there and check for yourself.

#14 is one dapper man.

I knew there’d be one and here you are.

If I make it out under $100 I feel as though I’ve beaten the odds.

For some reason #18 surprised me into actually laughing.

I’m kinda baffled by the “it’s just marketing, don’t read so much into it” rebuttal. Must be a nice world in which you never question even the most glaring things thrust in your face.