I Watched Every Host's Monologue From Past Golden Globes, And Now I'm Unshakably Certain About Who The Funniest And Most Cringeworthy Hosts Are

Watching all of the past monologues...for science

This year's Golden Globes was hosted by Jo Koy, a stand-up comedian...and basically no one laughed. It was interesting (and glaringly unprofessional) to hear him blame only the writers who contributed jokes to his opening monologue for the lack of laughter.

CBS / Via youtube.com

Jo Koy has been doing comedy since 1994. For someone with 30 years of experience, I kiiinda feel like ten days is enough time to write ten minutes of decent material. He said that the audience was laughing at his jokes only. What laughs? Are the laughs in the room with us now?

While I was watching the award show, I had a lot of extra time to think to myself during the silence after punchlines. I used that time to reminisce about how the jokes from this year compared to previous years. I don't remember the opening monologues always being this cringe, but I also know that the passage of time (especially online) can feel like, "Old Content Good. New Content Bad." based on the nostalgia factor.

I decided to hunker down and watch every monologue from Golden Globes past to find out if the past award shows were actually as funny as I remember them, or if they were cringe all along. Guess what? They were both. 

Here are all of the funniest (and cringiest) jokes from the past Golden Globes:

STILL FUNNY: Amy Poehler and Tina Fey explaining the difference between TV and film.

NBC / Via youtube.com

I looooved and felt seen by this joke. Rotting on the couch for hours on a TV binge somehow feels like way less of a commitment than classily watching a singular movie. This is girl math.

PRETTY CRINGEY: This joke about The Hunger Games.

NBC / Via youtube.com

This was a joke during the 2013 Golden Globes, and it feels verrrrry 2013...in a bad way. It took me right out of the moment and forced me to remember the horrors of the early 2000s diet culture against my will.

STILL FUNNY: Tina Fey (Liz Lemon) and Amy Poehler (Leslie Knope) calling out Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Elaine Benes) and creating a holy grail award show moment featuring three of the most talented women in comedy.

NBC / Via youtube.com

STILL FUNNY: This joke about Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street was funny...but it'd better not inspire any Wattpad fanfic! I swear to God!

NBC / Via youtube.com

STILL FUNNY: Jerrod Carmichael explaining the process behind agreeing to host the Golden Globes in 2023 after the show didn't air in 2022 following criticism of the HFPA's lack of diversity.

NBC / Via youtube.com

STILL FUNNY: Ricky Gervais roasting Leonardo DiCaprio.

NBC / Via youtube.com

Ricky Gervais is a crowd favorite as the host of the Golden Globes and even hosted it five times. He saunters on stage and roasts the entire audience for things they *cannot* deny, like Leonardo DiCaprio refusing to date anyone over 25. This joke fully showcases his dry, satirical, and often scathing humor without going overboard.

STILL FUNNY: Ricky Gervais saying goodbye in the most Ricky Gervais way possible.

NBC / Via youtube.com

FULLY OFFENSIVE: Ricky Gervais making a "joke" about Caitlyn Jenner by using her deadname as the punchline.

NBC / Via youtube.com

Ricky Gervais may be known to do offensive jokes, but this one felt lazy and plowed past humor straight into shock value. I won’t write out the full joke here in order not to amplify anti-trans rhetoric. Deadnaming is harmful and has no place in a punchline.

STILL FUNNY: Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh quoting Lady Gaga's (iconic!!) line that Gaga shamelessly repeats again and again...and again.

NBC / Via youtube.com

STILL FUNNY: Jimmy Fallon doing an impression of Chris Rock talking about The People v. O.J. Simpson.

NBC / Via youtube.com

I always loved Jimmy Fallon on Saturday Night Live because of his character acting, but as a host, he’s always sorta fallen (Fallon) flat to me. His monologue opening up the 2017 Golden Globes was a bit awkward to begin with (mostly because the teleprompter was down), but he got super comfy when he started doing his Chris Rock impression to talk about the show People v. O.J. Simpson. His impression work is solid, and I just know he's thriving whenever he gets to play another person. One thing about a former SNL cast member is that they will always be committed to the bit, whatever the bit may be.

PRETTY CRINGEY: Jimmy Fallon's astute observation about two words that sound similar.

NBC / Via youtube.com

Get it?! Pianist and penis?!? This was pretty lame and proves these award shows are not all perfect. Although, I do feel like this joke really landed for any teenage boys who also cackle uncontrollably in science class after reading the word "organism." 

I'll leave you with a personal offense — Ricky Gervais making this joke about the Lost finale. Nobody comes for sweet baby Hurley on my watch!!!

NBC / Via youtube.com

My main takeaway on this monologue rewatch is that the jokes weren't as perfect as nostalgia would like me to believe. I definitely laughed more than I cringed, but when I did cringe, it was after jokes that were punching down, lazy, or both. There is totally a way to be edgy still landing the jokes. I hope we have some real laughter coming our way at the next star-studded event. Happy award show season!

Check out the rest of our Golden Globes coverage here!