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1.A sofa bed of their very own, because they really don't understand why you hoomins keep hogging the couch when they're trying to watch Animal Planet.
5.A baseball cap that you think you're just buying to shield your dog's eyes from the sun. Your dog, meanwhile, knows it's finally time to show the world he can pull off the camo trend.
6.A truly regal aquarium castle worthy of those fancy fish you may or may not have named Meghan, Harry, and Archie.
7.A doggo splash pool that all the other pups will want to come over and use during the dog days of summer. Don't be surprised if you walk out to your yard to find your pooch hosting a pool party.
8.A full-on bird playground sure to help your feathered friends ~climb~ to the top of the avian social ~ladder~.
9.A classic Hawaiian shirt for the pet who might actually have better summer style than most humans you know, tbh.
10.A very homey bed that'll have all the other pets envying their sweet piece of real estate.
11.A LOL-worthy talking Mr. Bill toy, because only the coolest dogs understand retro SNL references.
12.A sleek bike trailer so your dog can ride around the neighborhood in style, condescendingly waving their paw at all the other pups who have to – *gasp* — walk.
13.A unique collar that you can personalize (or rather, pupalize) with any photo, so they can show it off to all the other dogs at the park and be like, "Yeah, it's custom."
14.An awesome possum plush squeaky toy even the most reserved pups can use to convince the other doggos that they're actually vicious hunters.
15.A wonderfully whimsical set of cat toys from Ellen Degeneres' pet collection, because it's just a fact that all pets love Ellen. I mean, how could they not? Plus, this set comes with more than enough toys to share, so other pets won't have to be too jealous.
16.A window perch bed so your cat can do what he does best — look out and the world and judge everything in sight.
17.A dual-point massager that'll have your dog or cat bragging about how they have their own personal masseuse (you).
18.A basketball hoop toy with a mirrored backboard for the bird who's overheard you watching High School Musical a few too many times and now wants to get his head in the game.
23.A collapsible three-way tunnel that your cat or rabbit will have a tunnel of fun getting lost in. It's way better than those basic tube tunnels Susan from next door's cats have.
24.A little condo complete with a roof deck that may make them start getting really into Martha Stuart for recipes, decor, and hosting tips for all the house parties they're gonna have.
25.And a ~jaws~-dropping shark fin outfit that admittedly will not make your pet look cool to other pets at all. It will embarrass the heck out of them. But will they look cool to your human friends and get about a zillion Insta likes? Dang right they will.
Live footage of your pet being cooler than literally everyone:
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