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The Ending To "The Holiday" Is Actually Pretty Depressing

These relationships are doomed.

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It's mid-September, which means that it's practically Halloween, which means Christmas is nearly here, which means it's time to talk about The Holiday.

Columbia Pictures

But, I mean, it's never too early to talk about The Holiday, so I don't know why I'm justifying myself so much.

In case you are somehow unaware, The Holiday is a delightful-yet-fairly-typical Nancy Meyers movie: Two very pretty white women (played by Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet) from opposite sides of the world decide to swap their charming, picturesque houses over the Christmas holiday (hence the title).

During their respective vacations, each women befriends and ultimately falls for a charming guy: Cameron Diaz falls for Jude Law while in England, and Kate Winslet falls for Jack Black while in Los Angeles.

(Yes, I'm aware all of their characters have names, but let's face it: I'm just going to be referring to them by their actor names.)

And despite all their different backgrounds and experiences and living situations, all four of them come together at the end to celebrate New Year's in England.

Columbia Pictures

(Oh, and Kate Winslet and Jude Law are siblings, which is why everyone ends up as friends.)

A happy ending, right? WRONG. Because despite what the movie wants you to think, these relationships are all DOOMED.

The movie tricked you with sparkly dresses, twinkly lights, and unrealistically large kitchens.

Let's start with Cameron Diaz. Sure, she and Jude Law are in love and she extends her time in England, but she can't move her business there!

Columbia Pictures

She owns a successful and lucrative movie trailer–editing company, which requires her to live in Los Angeles. Even if she did move her business to England, that means poor John Krasinski and Kathryn Hahn are out of jobs, unless they also uproot their lives and Cameron Diaz pays for their moving costs.

Jude Law can't move to America, either! He has two young daughters. He's not going move them away from their schools, friends, and their memories of their dead mother just so he can date a woman he's known for, like, a week.

Columbia Pictures

That would be unbelievably irresponsible parenting, and the movie makes it pretty clear that Jude Law puts his daughters' well-being first. (Yes, he introduces Cameron Diaz to them too quickly, but that's mostly her fault for showing up uninvited.)

Sure, they can try long-distance for a while, but with so many factors involved and no set end-date in sight, they're almost certainly going to break up eventually. (Sorry.)

Now, Kate Winslet is slightly more able to move from England to LA to be with Jack Black, especially once she finally gives the ol' heave-ho to her craptastic on-and-off boyfriend, Jasper.

But she'd be leaving behind her job, her brother, and her two nieces. And uprooting her entire life for a man goes against her entire story arc, which is realizing her own self-worth and independence.

Columbia Pictures

Don't get me wrong, though; getting away from Jasper and getting together with the adorable Jack Black are both definite pluses.

Jack Black is a film composer, which he could conceivably still do if he moved to England with Kate, but once again, THEY'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER A WEEK. Don't move to England for someone you've known for a week.

Columbia Pictures

This is solid advice, whether you're in a Nancy Meyers movie or not.

Kate and Jack have a slightly better chance of making it work, but in all likelihood, they're gonna fizzle out just like Cameron and Jude will. ALL OF THESE RELATIONSHIPS ARE GONNA FAIL.

And don't even get me started on how difficult it is to move to another country when you're not a citizen! HEY, NANCY MEYERS — VISAS ARE HARD TO GET.

(Though as rich white people, these characters will definitely have an easier time than most.)

  1. Have you been personally victimized by the ending to The Holiday?

    Yes! I NEED TO KNOW IF THESE RELATIONSHIPS SUCCEED.
    No, I somehow have a life outside of obsessing over romantic comedies from 2006.

The Ending To "The Holiday" Is Actually Pretty Depressing

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Have you been personally victimized by the ending to The Holiday?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Yes! I NEED TO KNOW IF THESE RELATIONSHIPS SUCCEED.
  2.  
    vote votes
    No, I somehow have a life outside of obsessing over romantic comedies from 2006.

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