We asked the BuzzFeed Community to share their ~most memorable~ encounters with big penises. And boy, did they deliver. Here are some of the best stories.
1. The footlong wiener.
I dated a dude who was packing a footlong. The sex was uncomfortable, at best, and he refused to go down on me. I dumped him after a year of making up excuses to not have sex. The crazy part was that he had no clue that he was big — every time we talked about his size, he couldn't believe he was anything more than average.
2. The tip trouble.
As a gay lady, I haven’t seen many penises since I lost my virginity at 17. But my first experience with someone of the opposite sex was with a guy who, to date, has the biggest penis I have ever seen. We were camping with a large group, tents and horses, down by the Suwannee River in Florida. My high school boyfriend and I retired early to my tent where we commenced a hot and heavy petting session. After attaining my permission, he whipped out a very long, rock-solid, and extremely girthy penis.
We spent the next 10 minutes simply working on getting the tip in. It was exhausting and painful, but he was determined and I was battling “I don’t want to be gay” syndrome so I was patient, despite the agony of having my lady bits spread beyond their expectations. It didn’t take long once he was finally in, much to my relief. But sometimes when I dredge up this memory I can still feel the force of that massive appendage pressing its way into tender flesh. I won’t say the experience turned me off men completely — I think that was already a done deal — but it definitely made me appreciate the wonders of lube.
3. The rock-solid reality show guy.
A little while ago I was pretty much IN LOVE with this guy that appeared on my favorite reality TV show. I was a fan and would watch his Instagram live every chance I got. One day he noticed me from a comment I made and sent me a DM. We exchanged numbers and ended up developing a long-distance relationship, and he sent me a dick pic that pretty much made me choke on my coffee. I thought he'd be average size judging by his height but he was PACKING. I was sure he'd break me in half. Unfortunately we broke things off before I was set to fly to see him for a weekend. That was the dick that got away.
4. The bathroom buddy.
I was grabbing drinks with my best mate and he brought along a buddy. We had to use the restroom around the same time, and long story short it was big enough that he had to use two hands to pee. I wasn't even jealous at that point, just afraid.
5. The "log cock" from...heaven.
I met a guy on Tinder, and after one of our dates we ended up back at his place. I honestly went in trying to resist, but I couldn’t help myself and clothes went flying. My go-to move is to hang my head off the edge of the bed and undo their pants while they stand over me before I give them head. When I pulled his boxers down his dick hit my forehead and I fucking almost choked on the thought of that thing in my throat. I don’t think I got more than an inch of that sucker in my mouth, and the sex was almost unenjoyable. ALMOST, because the girth on that log cock was nuts. Needless to say, sometimes when I’m feeling brave, I’ll hit him up.
6. The keyboard player.
When I was in school there was this guy that tried to get with me for months. He kept telling me "my dick is the size of a keyboard" and I continuously ignored him. Eventually I changed my mind I guess and I was in his bedroom and when he pulled it out, my first thought was "Oh my god, it really is the size of a child's toy keyboard." I was ready to take on the challenge but quickly realized it was too big for me. He could barely get the tip in without me whining about it hurting and it basically slipping out. One time it slipped out and in between my thighs, I just squeezed my thighs super, super tight and let him fuck that thinking that was my vagina 'cause there was no way his dick was fitting in me.
7. The big penis with a big penis.
Ex-boyfriend was around 11 inches. He was a giant penis, so I guess it stood to reason he had one too.
8. The professional.
It was my sophomore year of college and I was a virgin. This guy in one of my classes and I had been flirting and one night he invited me over. Of course at the time when I first saw it I thought it was regular because I hadn’t seen many penises before, but I could barely get my mouth around it. When he tried to put it in only the tip fit. I was so embarrassed because I thought it was my fault. He was a good sport about it, though. I found out later that he had been doing adult movies on the side to make some extra cash.
9. The guy with big...feet.
I met a dude while I was working at a shoe store. He was embarrassed about his large shoe size, to which I said saucily, “Well, you know what they say about big feet” with a wink. Fast forward. We start dating, and, man, did I find out how appropriate that joke was. Dude was HUGE! It was at least 11 inches. Sex was...difficult. I can remember him saying, “Yeah, guys always want a big dick, but it’s actually really annoying.”
10. The amazing FWB.
I used to have an FWB situation with this guy and I shit you not, his dick was like a fucking can of Monster energy drink. I'm talking length and girth. The first time I saw it I honest to god gasped out loud. To this day the best sex I've ever had was with him. Sex with him had me feeling so full and it rode that fine and sweet line between pleasure and pain. Now I shed a tear for that glorious dick I lost when he moved across the country.
11. The nude beach grower and shower.
I hung out on a nude beach in Hawaii for a few months. One guy had the biggest penis on the beach — this huge, footlong, uncircumcised, monstrous-looking dong. He was so proud! He’d strut up and down the beach grinning about it.
12. The magical one-night stand.
My first one-night stand when I was 17. It was dark, I reached out to jerk him off, and thought I’d grabbed his forearm. He was so big he nearly broke me.
13. The baseball bat.
My ex's dick was like a baseball bat. Seriously — in length, girth, and shape. I mean, not seriously, but it was AT LEAST 10 inches. It had a larger head than shaft so it felt amaaaazing when he took his time and pulled all the way out and back in. But heaven help me when he got to pounding away, I could feel my cervix wincing.
14. The large and lazy lover.
Ten inches and as thick as my wrist. The problem? He thought his 10 inches was all he needed to bring to the bedroom to make the sex good. He just laid there like the physical incarnation of a yawn. Best sex I ever had? Five inches with a "throw me up against a wall" attitude that did. not. quit.
15. The good Christian boy.
I went to a tiny Christian university and was dating a boy who grew up very religious. He's 6’5" and has a dick to match. Because we were both religious at the time we were not having penetrative sex. Boys and girls were not allowed in each other’s rooms, so we were always jerking each other off in closets, empty classrooms, and his RA office at night. I had never seen a penis in real life so when we first started messing around I didn’t think too much of the fact that he was at least 10 inches long when hard and that my hand couldn’t fit around the shaft. I just assumed this was normal. After a year and a half of dating we never had penetrating sex. I still wonder sometimes what it would have felt like, and feel a little relieved that the first dick inside of me wasn’t 10 inches long.
16. The football giant.
I was 18, and the guy I was seeing was this 6'7" football player, and when the time came to get naked, it was so big, I lied and said I was out of condoms so I could avoid trying to accommodate such a giant. My inexperience definitely contributed to my lack of confidence. Can't say I would have declined if I saw it today! He was BLESSED.
17. And finally, the big slapper.
At the beginning of my sophomore year of college, I met this guy from another college who was visiting some friends. We ended up hooking up that night, and his penis was the biggest I had ever seen — at least 10 inches hard. Fast-forward to me going down on him, it was too big to fit in my mouth and it fell out, but when it fell out it flung back and smacked onto his stomach and made a really loud slapping noise. I started laughing so hard, I probably killed the mood.
Want to be featured in similar BuzzFeed posts? Follow the BuzzFeed Community on Facebook and Twitter!
Stories have been edited for length and clarity.