Skip To Content
  • Poll badge

I'm Here To Tell You That Fairy Bread Is The Actual Worst And I'll Be Hearing No Further Debate On It

The nostalgia? 10/10. The taste? -3/1000.

When it comes to iconic Australian cuisine, few foods are more revered than the childhood staple of fairy bread.

“I fuckin’ love fairy bread!” - @juicyfruitsnacc 2021.

Twitter: @Juicysburbers

For my non-Australian friends, the recipe is rather complicated, so try to keep up: You plate-up a piece of white bread, butter it, then apply a liberal dose of hundreds and thousands (or "sprinkles", as you common folk know it).

Growing up in the '90s, it was commonly served at kids' birthday parties, morning tea at school, or — if your parents were ~ultra cool~ — as a cheeky arvo snack at home.

But despite the fact that, as adults, fairy bread is not something you ever see on the table, Aussies are still utterly obsessed with it:

I’d kill for soft bread, salty butter and hundreds of thousands. Just really good fairy bread is all I want 🍭

Twitter: @madisonlucy_

psa: fairy bread is incredible and if u haven’t had it ur not living

Twitter: @XTRACHLOE

In this house we RESPECT FAIRY BREAD!!! Fairy bread is FUCKING amazing and delicious and my Australian ass will defend it with honour and loyalty.

Twitter: @iishifishii

Which brings me to a hard truth that I think it's all past time we acknowledged...

Fairy bread is the actual worst.

It’s quite literally just white bread (the worst of all the breads), then butter and coloured sugar? Smooshed together on a single slice, like a D-grade DIY doughnut?

And look, I'm not denying that I still have fond memories of eating fairy bread — but I also used to drink straight from the salad dressing bottle, so I'm not putting too much stock in kid-Julia's tastes.

I just think there are so many better alternatives to satisfy your sweet tooth — and if it's the taste of pure nostalgia you're hankering for, there's still a hell of a lot of better choices there too!