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...I have watched wayyy too many vampire movies.
This is one of the movies you can tell was influenced by Coppola's Dracula, in a very good way. If you want a vampire comedy, this is the movie for you! I didn't stop laughing the entire time. It gets the gothic, shabby old vibe of vampires totally right, and makes fun of the genre while also evidently coming from a place of love. The best kind of comedy!
Where to watch it: Rent it from Prime, YouTube, or Google Play from $2.69.
Ahhh, the Hammer films. If you're unfamiliar, Hammer Film Productions is a British film production company that made a ton of classic horror movies, and modernized them for the times. I think they made, like, nine Dracula movies with Christopher Lee, but the 1958 one is the first. Watch this one.
For a lot of people, this, even more than the Bela Lugosi (1931) or the Coppola (1992) version, is the definitive Dracula movie. And, I mean, are they wrong??? Christopher Lee is iconic in the role of Dracula, as is Peter Cushing as Van Helsing. Honestly, Christopher Lee is who I think of when I think of Dracula, and as I've said, I've literally seen about a hundred Dracula movies. So that's saying something.
Where to watch it: Stream it on Max.
DON'T YELL AT ME! Pause. Be quiet. Think. AM I WRONG? Don't answer that yet. Think some more. This movie, in all its green-toned, indie, Pacific Northwest realness, absolutely changed what vampires were in pop culture, and you cannot deny it. Now, I'm not unreasonable. I know that the plot is not, um, good. But the vibes this movie served up? The memes? The cultural references we still make to this day?
I will not make either you or myself say that Twilight is good. What we will settle on is that it is camp. And you and I might even publicly be haters, but you know that if somebody puts this movie on, you are going to stand behind the couch like a dad for the entire two-hour runtime pretending like you don't enjoy it, but everyone knows you're watching. It's okay. It's just us here. We can admit it. Twilight is stupid and fun.
Where to watch it: Stream it for free on YouTube or Tubi, or watch it on Prime with a subscription.
A certified Julia all-time favorite, this little masterpiece (well — a masterpiece in my own biased opinion) tells the story of Louis, a man who was turned into a vampire in 18th-century New Orleans by the vampire Lestat. The sweet and gentle Louis, who does not at all like being a vampire, despairs and tries to get away from Lestat — who then basically baby traps him with Claudia, a 12-year-old he "saves" by turning into a vampire as well. Over the next 200 years, their twisted family relationship goes through, um, a lot of ups and downs.
What you need to know: This movie slays super hard. There's (almost) nothing like it. If you want some '90s drama, a little raunchiness, secret French vampire covens, and despair in the face of bleak immortality, this movie is definitely for you.
Where to watch it: Stream it on Hulu or rent it on Amazon, YouTube, or Google Play starting at $3.79.
This movie was originally a two-part made-for-TV miniseries, so it's super long, just a warning. But it's still totally worth the watch. Ben Mears, a writer, travels back to his hometown to get some writing inspiration. The small town is suspicious of him, and those suspicions grow when people start getting sick and disappearing. But Ben discovers what's really plaguing the town: the arrival of the evil Kurt Barlow, an ancient vampire.
This is a very bowl-of-popcorn, snuggled in on the couch kind of movie, IMO. It has some of the creepiest vampires in any movie I've seen. And the window scene?! If you know you know. This movie is considered a classic for a reason, so if you want something cozy and a little thrilling that'll up your vampire-fan cred, watch this movie!
Where to watch it: Rent it on Google Play, Apple TV, or YouTube for $2.99.
This movie rocks — literally. Like Interview with the Vampire, this movie is also about Anne Rice's famed literary character Lestat, but don't worry, it is completely unrelated to the other film.
Bored of immortality, Lestat decides to embrace his vampire identity and leverage it to become a vampire rock star. A young human woman suspects his identity, and falls in love with him. Unknowingly, Lestat's rockin' tunes reawaken the Egyptian vampire Akasha, queen of the vampires, who seeks to rule over (and kill many of) the world's vampires and make Lestat her king at all costs.
This movie is ridiculous and amazing. If you want to just sit down and have a lot of fun watching early '00s grunge rock ridiculousness, this movie is totally for you. I loved it.
Where to watch it: Stream it on Hulu, or rent it from YouTube, Vudu, of Google Play Movies for $2.99.
Okay, I'm serious about the description; this movie is, like, actually grungy (none of the fun pop-grunge like in Queen of the Damned). In grimy 1990s New York, a grieving drunk despairs after a breakup. Soon after, he meets Anna, a beautiful, mysterious vampire who lures him away from any stability in his life. Larry Fessenden and Meredith Snaider give great performances in main roles, and I recommend it to all my artsy friends. Like A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night, this movie also deals with vampirism as a mechanism for talking about addiction.
I don't even remember why exactly I turned this on the first time; probably because half the time it's listed as Andy Warhol's Dracula, and I wanted to know what the hell that would look like. Now I know.
Basically, Dracula travels from Romania to Italy because he needs virgin blood and there are no more virgins left where he's from. He assumes that Italy will have a lot of virgins because it is very Catholic. He is wrong. When he tells an aristocratic family he intends to marry one of their many daughters, he preys on each one in turn; each tells him they are a virgin, each is lying, and each causes him to get really, really sick. If you want to hear Dracula with a funny accent scream "ZHE BLUD OF ZEEZ WHORES EES KILLING ME," this might be right for you!
PS: I know there are many, many Blood for Dracula defenders out here, and listen, I had so much fun watching this, but please, we don't have to pretend that it was good. Is it campy? Yes. Was it ridiculous? Yes. Was it...good? Um...
Where to watch it: Watch it for free on Vudu or Plex.
Everybody knows that Bela Lugosi invented the image of Dracula we know today (sorry, Bram Stoker — love you), but how many of you have actually sat down and watched the 1930s original? Now is the time to change that! This movie has: cool floating bats. Bela Lugosi slaying. The original Universal Monster. Plus, you get to see the origins of "I vant to suck your blood!" What more could you ask for?
(I would say to watch this only if you actually find enjoyment in old movies, which of course, I do because I am cool and fun.)
Where to watch it: Stream it on Prime!
I haven't seen it, I just know you guys are gonna be mad at me if I don't put it on the list.
A synopsis for you: When two teenage boys move with their mother to a coastal California town, they soon discover that it is crawling with biker gangs and vampires. The younger brother, Sam, must save his older brother, Michael, from the coven.
This movie, from what I've seen, is full-on '80s ridiculousness, and I need to watch it. Its tagline does it way more justice than I could: "Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It's fun to be a vampire." If you like '80s partying, campy vampires, and a gothic California coast, this movie is for you!
Where to watch it: Stream it on Max.