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1.A pair of L.L. Bean "Wicked Good" moccasins with a shearling lining that feels like a warm (and also moisture-wicking) hug each and every time you slip on them on. And that durable outsole means there won't be any slipping in these slippers.
2.A durable, waterproof Yeti all-purpose tote bag built to take a beating inside and out so dads can easily drag their wet or dirty gear (or their beer) when fishing, camping, or beaching.
3.A multipurpose Imarku 8-inch kitchen knife with a high-carbon stainless-steel blade for dads who know their way around the kitchen and not just the quickest route from the couch to the fridge.
4.A Levi's trucker jacket, because chances are your father owned one just like this many years ago and has a story to go along with it (you can just hear that Wayback-machine firing up). But make sure your pops doesn't go all Canadian tuxedo and pair this with matching jeans.
5.A dishwasher-safe, 64-oz. stainless-steel Stanley vacuum growler that'll keep beers cold for up to 24 hours (pshhhh, as if they'd even make it past the five-hour mark before being chugged down). Bonus: comes with a lifetime guarantee.
6.A pair of leather Nisolo Chavito chukka boots with rubber outsoles, so your pops will always have a stylish, complaint-free, pair of shoes that'll go with almost anything, from jeans and a tee to pants and a jacket.
7.An Audio-Technica turntable for your dad to not only listen to all his old vinyl (so much prog-rock) but convert them to digital audio files (that you'll most likely have to put on his phone even though you demonstrated how to do it, like, five times).
8.A hardcover Moleskine classic notebook, because sometimes dads make lists and take notes in such an efficient, space-saving manner that it will take years until this thing needs to be replaced. Just think of all the minutia this tome will one day contain.
9.A buffalo leather dopp kit so dad no longer has any excuses for not wanting to take that cruise of Alaska. Score some serious extra points by filling it with a smattering of favorite, travel-size toiletries.
10.A stainless-steel, 14-in-1 Leatherman multitool with a knife, pliers, screwdriver, wire cutters, scissors, package, bottle, and can openers, a ruler, and most importantly a clip-on holder, because you know dads totally love wearing things on their belts.
11.A water-repellent, Carhartt rain defender hooded heavyweight sweatshirt that dads can wear when picking their kids up from the airport after a day of cleaning out the gutters. The only uncomfortable thing dads may feel when wearing this hoodie is the awkward silence when small-talk runs out during the ride home.
12.A dishwasher-safe air fryer with a nonstick basket that'll crunchify dad's favorite meats and veggies (and of course french fries) with little to no oil and a whole lot less saturated fat.
13.A three-month subscription to Atlas Coffee Club for java-loving dad's looking to explore single origin beans from around the world without actually having to leave the house.
14.A pair of Red Wing 6-inch Classic Moc Boots made from water-, stain-, and perspiration-resistant oil-tanned leather that are built to last, just the way dads like them.
15.A pair of Anker over-the-ear, noise-canceling, wireless, Bluetooth headphones, for the dad who likes a little (or a lot of) peace and quiet. We're talking up to 40 hours of nonstop playtime in noise-cancellation mode. Enjoy the silence.
16.An Under Armour Polo, for golfer-dads or just polo-dads (the shirt kind, not the horse kind) looking for a looser-fit, a little stretch, and ton of colorways. The moisture-wicking and quick-drying fabric comes in handy for any meat-sweat moments.
17.A wooden, Miller Lite cornhole game with eight bean bags and carrying handles and folding legs for easy movement and storage, because that classic can design will remind dad that it's both Miller Time and cornhole every time these boards make an appearance.
18.A pair of polarized Randolph aviator sunglasses with a subtle blue iridescence that will make dad feel like a real top gun even from behind the wheel of that old Chrysler Pacifica.
19.An Everlane standard-fit Japanese oxford shirt, because every dad needs that one button-down to wear to that thing that they really don't want to go to (which could be almost any occasion). Plus this shirt has a 365-day guarantee if anything fades, stretches, tears, or otherwise goes awry.
20.A rechargeable electric wine opener that'll pop about 30 bottles on a single charge at the touch of a single button. No more ruining the cork and having to finish the whole bottle so "it doesn't go bad."
21.A flannel fleece robe with a hood for middle-of-the-night dog-walking duties that provide just a bit of anonymity while keeping the pater familias cozy out in the cold when the canine is taking its sweet time.
22.A polished, aluminum Bialetti Moka coffee brewer so dads can get that super strong cup of percolated perfection to start their day.
23.A foldable serving cart for putting pop's beverage collection on display indoors and then easily wheeling it outdoors for BBQs and day-drinking-based affairs.
24.An energy- and potentially money-saving, third-gen Nest thermostat that can be controlled by phone, tablet, laptop, or the old hands-on method preferred by 9 out of 10 dads completely obsessed with properly maintaining the household temps.
25.A gift-boxed Fisher Space Pen with clip to write in extreme temperatures (minus-30 degrees to 250 degrees Fahrenheit), underwater, on wet surfaces, or at any angle (even upside-down) as if you were in zero gravity. Plus you get to do the whole "Take the pen" bit from Seinfeld.
26.A pair of low-top, shell-toe Adidas Originals Superstar shoes, that might not officially qualify as "dad shoes" but they can certainly become your dad's go-to sneakers.
27.A Sonos One SL wireless speaker, because the bathroom may very well be a dad's favorite room in the house, and this wireless streaming speaker just happens to be humidity-resistant and can fit just about anywhere.
28.A completely leak-proof, virtually indestructible, dishwasher-safe, Nalgene wide-mouth, BPA-free, water bottle to remind dads that they need to hydrate much more often during the day whether that's with warm or cold beverages.
29.An Anker wireless charger for dads who want to cut the cords ("So many damn wires, I'm always tripping over them!") and juice up their phones and earbuds with ease. They can even charge their phones through those ginormous protective cases without having to take them off.
30.An Everlane cotton pocket T-shirt, because even though dads might prefer the five-pack from the "department store" they still deserve a more durable, midweight version that gets softer over time. Trust us, dear old dad will find a use for that front pocket too.
31.A wireless remote food thermometer with dual probes, so dad can set it (the temperature) and forget it (until it beeps at the desired temp) and enjoy the BBQ without having to constantly watch over the grill like some sort of meat hawk thanks to the device's range of up to 300 feet.
Any of these Father's Day gifts will surely elicit this level of response from the old man. Oh, you were expecting a hug? Maybe next year.
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