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1.A hedgehog named Spike that helps build motor, counting, and sorting skills by fitting peg-shaped pieces into its back. Just don't ask him if he knows Sonic.
2.A set of Magna-Tiles for recreating the works of children's author Eric Carle while building 3D versions of beloved characters like "The Very Hungry Caterpillar."
3.A five-stage, folding tricycle Doona Liki Trike S3 for 10–36-month-olds that (in normal times) is small enough to fit in a trunk or airplane overhead bin, but for these current times is a total lifesaver for entertaining a toddler around the home.
4.A set of handcrafted, nontoxic constellation blocks to learn the symbols, names, hemispheres, and scale of magnitude for 16 constellations in the night sky.
6.An easy-to-assemble, indoor/outdoor, three-piece space astronaut play tent with a castle tent, crawl tunnel, and square tent so kids can reenact your favorite scenes from 2001: A Space Odyssey or, you know, use their own imagination for playtime. Totally their call.
7.A "Silly Poopy's Hide & Seek" game (from the makers of What Do You Meme?) that actually involves hiding a fake plastic poo that talks and gives clues to its whereabouts.
8.A "Learn-A-Lot Avocados" game, because one's love of guacamole's main ingredient should start at an early age. Plus this toy really helps with the old color identification and matching skills.
9.A talking and singing LeapFrog Yum-2-3 Toaster for learning all about numbers, colors, and the most important meal of the day!
10.A 12-pack of durable and sustainable all-natural pure beeswax crayons that are nearly unbreakable and even come with a money-back guarantee. You better bee-lieve it!
11.A not-as-noisy-as-it-looks VTech electronic drum set, which your kid can freestyle to (like Animal from the Muppets) or they can follow the lights as they learn about letters and numbers (and maybe even want to become a real drummer).
13.A Playmobil Noah's Ark, because toddlers tend to lose a thing or two and this play set comes with pairs of figures (doubles!) that can be played with on land and sea (but preferably not thrown into the air).
14.A three-wheeled micro scooter with an adjustable handlebar to grow with your toddler as they improve their balance and motor skills while whizzing by at seemingly breakneck speeds. Also includes a two-year manufacturer's warranty.
15.A 24-piece Melissa & Doug pet vet play set for toddlers to develop some serious empathy skills while taking care of a plush dog and cat with a toy stethoscope, thermometer, syringe, ear scope, tweezers, clamp, cast, bandages, and of course, the cone of shame.
16.A solar-powered Pretend and Play calculator cash register that makes a "cha-ching" noise every time it opens and will introduce concepts of math and finance to your kids as well as soon-to-be-outdated-in-their-lifetime concepts of cash and coins.
17.A 22-piece shaking, tapping, beating, and blowing wooden instrument set to serve as your toddler's very own beat-lab, just as long as they don't actually beat anyone with their new musical toys.
21.A sports center that should inspire you and your kid to get up off the couch, stop watching Sports Center, and learn about numbers and counting through the scoreboard and all the gears and buttons. Also, please resist the urge to dunk on your child.
22.A 600-piece set of Plus Plus interlocking puzzle blocks (made in Denmark so you know that it's quality) for building flat or 3D creations that's less likely to injure adults who step on any errant pieces in the middle of the night.
23.A Melissa & Doug wooden railway set with 100 track sections, a freight train, a passenger train, and a flatbed truck so kids have plenty of options to choo-choo-choose from without ever getting bored.
24.A push or pull V-Tech "Drop & Go" dump truck to teach the kiddies counting by dropping colorful boulders in the back bucket while playing melodies and phrases for learning about tools and colors.
25.A "Monkey Around Wiggle & Giggle" board game with a beanbag banana that involves
simple skills like balancing, hopping, & marching (as well as high fives and hugs) to encourage motor skill development, coordination, understanding spatial concepts, and, most importantly, fun with the family.
28.A VTech "Touch and Learn" activity desk with five interactive pages and more than 200 "touch and learn spots" on each card, a music player, toy phone, and LED light-up display for nonstop learning and playtime. Also transforms from a desk into an easel and chalkboard for more lo-fi fun.
29.A 10-pack of Play-Doh that there was no way in hell that you'd ever be able to avoid buying. Fortunately, it's all nontoxic, nonirritating, nonallergenic and the packaging is recyclable. But, yeah, it still smells like Play-Doh.
30.A 36-piece wooden pattern blocks animals jigsaw puzzle with patterns for creating animals, vehicles and whatever else your child's rampant imagination can come up with while "developing spatial awareness, color and shape recognition, hand-eye coordination, and problem-solving."
31.A built-to-last, no lead, no plastic, nontoxic, 14-piece magnetic wooden block set for kids to create all manner of creatures and objects that will serve as a soft introduction to all types of modern art.
32.A four-wheeled, Hape "Scoot Around" ride-on" wood bike with rubber wheels that'll take it easy on your floors as your toddler develops motor skills as well as strength and balance (because wood ain't light).
33.A set of Blockaroo magnetic foam building blocks sure to "click" with the young builder in your life. Plus they'll take a beating but come back looking nice and clean after bath time play or a run in the dishwasher.
34.A Fat Brain Toys Dimpl Digits toy with numbers in English on one side and Spanish on the other to pop and push while developing motor and (eventually) language skills.
35.A three-chord Loog Mini acoustic guitar so you can start teaching your little punk kid the entire Ramones catalog. Comes with flashcards of chord diagrams and full access to the Loog Guitar app. Hey! Ho! Let's go!
36."Rock me, Amadeus!" A magic cube so kiddies can compose and remix some of Mozart's classical music masterpieces. It's baby's first beats lab but, like, totally classy and classical.
Think of it this way, if your life already looks like this one of these toddler toys might actually give you a few more minutes to catch your breath during the day.
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