Used to mean: 3 a.m.–4 a.m.

Now it means: Anytime past 11 p.m.

Used to mean: The SPF 8 you slathered on before hitting the beach.

Now it means: ::marinates body in SPF 45::

Used to mean: Too many alcoholic beverages led you to short-term memory loss the night before.

Now it means: Passed out from exhaustion on your bed at 8 p.m. still wearing your work clothes.

Used to mean: A blessing that lets you eat and drink whatever you want.

Now it means: A sluggish curse that sends every slice of pizza directly to your thighs.

Used to mean: Doing so many shots and beers!

Now it means: Having two glasses of sauvignon blanc on an empty stomach.

Used to mean: Not being able to stop your face from breaking out.

Now it means: SERIOUSLY I'M OLD SHOULDN'T THIS BE DONE BY NOW?!?!?

Used to mean: Something that would totally cripple you.

Now it means: ♫ On to the next one ♫

Used to mean: RAGE ALL NIGHT.

Now it means: I just want to ::sit down:: and watch some nice music. Is that too much to ask??

Used to mean: Something your parents complained about.

Now it means: Ouch my esophagus oh my god ow ow ow NOO oh god

Used to mean: Someone you dated anyway, because he's *so cute.*

Now it means: Nope, nope, no way, bye.

Used to mean: High school students.

Now it means: Literally all twentysomethings.

Used to mean: Blowing $80 on a few trendy things at Forever 21 or H&M.

Now it means: Those Theory pants look so classic. And comfortable!

Used to mean: Something you said ironically.

Now it means: Something you say wistfully and with complete earnestness.

Used to mean: A hostel or the Super 8.

Now it means: Anywhere with a decent bed and points you can get on your credit card.

Used to mean: Something you got after working out or lifting something heavy.

Now it means: Something you wake up with EVERY FREAKING DAY.

Used to mean: The Beatles, Led Zeppelin and CCR.

Now it means: Music you listened to in high school. :(

Used to mean: Something you'd wake up with under your eyes if you didn't get enough sleep.

Now it means: Something you wake up with.

Used to mean: The decade you wore boot-cut khakis and rocked out to Avril Lavigne.

Now it means: The decade high school students were BORN in.

Used to mean: Stuff you fill up your car with.

Now it means: Stuff that fills your intestines if you even LOOK at Taco Bell.

Used to mean: Slamming shots before you hit the club.

Now it means: Slamming green juice before you hit the hiking trails.

Used to mean: The Olay Regenerist that lined your mom's bathroom cabinet.

Now it means: Discussing eye serums with your friends, and taking notes.

Used to mean: Waking up at 9 to pregame before the football game.

Now it means: Waking up at 9 to get to the farmers' market early. (The good tomatoes go SO fast.)

Used to mean: Being the fun one who could flirt up at a storm at the bar.

Now it means: Being the only one not posting photos of your toddler on Facebook.

Used to mean: WOO HOO PARTY TIME!

Now it means: ::clutches intestines at the mere thought::

Used to mean: A fun fantasy you have about the cute person on your soccer team.

Now it means: A fun fantasy you can never act on because they, like everyone else, are already married. :(

Used to mean: Something that'd crush your soul if you found out someone was talking about you.

Now it means: Lol, who cares?

Used to mean: Your signature dance move.

Now it means: You're over 30. You don't get low.

Used to mean: A time of your life you miss deeply.

Now it means: A time you're glad to be done with, because your thirties are the best decade of your life.