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1. A copy of The Golden Girls Cookbook filled with more than 90 recipes — including naughty Blanche collard greens, jazzed-up turkey meatloaf, and lingonberry trifle — all inspired by Blanche, Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia.
2. Or, an unofficial Disney Parks cookbook and drink recipe book because everybody knows Disney has ~delicious~ food and drinks, but who wants to spend like $5 on one churro?! With this book, they will be able to create their own Mickey Mouse-shaped beignets, Dole Whips, and over 100 other recipes. This gift keeps on giving…if you're lucky they may even make you a treat to try!
3. Orrrrrr, a 100-page blank cookbook so they can fill it with all their beloved family recipes that everyone knows are superior to any store-bought recipes.
4. An elegant matching bralette and lace undie set that is actually comfortable unlike many other lingerie sets. Plus it's so cute they will never want to take it off (or even cover it up).
5. A variety pack of the legendary and splurge-worthy Carbone Pasta Sauce with four flavors included: arrabbiata, garlic, marinara, and tomato basil, so no matter which pasta ~vibe~ they are going for they will have the perfect sauce for it.
6. A dazzling pair of dangling earrings that will twinkle almost as bright as their eyes when they first see these gorgeous jewels.
7. A Love Lingual Card Game filled with 150 conversation-starting questions so they can start exploring deeper connections with you whether you are newly together or have been married for years.
8. A classic PlayStation console complete with two wired controllers, a virtual memory card, an HDMI cable, and 20 preloaded classic games for some real ~nostalgic~ vibes.
9. A hammered gold metal handmade garland designed to look like the stages of the moon are floating on their wall.
10. An ergonomic and compact Shiatsu back and neck massager to give them the deep tissue massage they've been dreaming of whenever they want instead of just a skimpy 50-minute one they would get at a real spa.
11. A deck of Disney Villains Tarot Cards and Guidebook if they want to dabble in fortune telling to see where this relationship is going to take them. May the cards be forever in your favor...
12. A pair of light-up chopsticks so they can add a little extra fun to mealtime.
13. A delicate and detailed 24-karat gold-plated baguette rhinestone ring that will add a dainty ~pop~ of sparkle ✨ to their current jewelry stack.
14. A pair of Apple AirPod Pros so they can jam out to songs at the gym, on a plane, or wherever else they happen to be. These are designed with active noise cancellation, transparency mode for hearing the world, and three sizes of soft, tapered silicone tips for a perfect fit…all that to say, yes, they are worth the price.
15. An extra large blanket that is perfect for them to snuggle up with their friends, and also would make an amazing blanket fort. This bad boy measures in at 10 *feet* by 10 *feet,* like, my brain can't even comprehend how amazing it would be to have a blanket that ginormous.
Amazon
Big Blanket Co is a small business that specializes in selling absurdly large blankets.
Promising review: "I was nervous that I was overindulging, but I bought it for myself for my birthday and I haven’t bought myself anything in years. Yes, years… I’m not going to lie this is the best thing I have ever bought. EVER. Sooooo worth it if you enjoy a good movie night on the couch." —Cate
Get it from Amazon for $159 (available in six colors).
16. A pair of Dearfoams shearling slippers so they can have perfectly warm and cozy feet without worrying about them becoming sweaty and unpleasant.
17. A set of silky-soft satin pillowcases designed with their delicate skin and hair in mind. These will have them waking up refreshed and ~almost~ as put together as basically any character in a movie during those *I woke up like this* scenes.
18. A giant variety box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates because what says Valentine's Day more than chocolate?!
19. A water-resistant Amazfit Band 5 Fitness Tracker with 15-day battery life (!!) for anyone who cannot seem to remember to charge their electronics. Plus this band is compatible with Alexa, so they can set reminders, add items to lists, get answers to simple questions, and more, all from their wrist (it's giving Spy Kids)!
20. A totally soothing Wake Up Light Sunrise Alarm Clock so they can stop being jolted awake by an (always) alarming *BEEP* right in the middle of their deepest dreams.
21. A screaming goat because there's no way anyone could receive this and not immediately have a smile on their face. Is it vaguely dumb? Yes. But is it very entertaining? Absolutely.
22. A very handy book that may even just include the answer to what the meaning of life is. But seriously, they will definitely learn a lot about the world, maybe even get answers to some stuff they've been too embarrassed to look up.
23. A compact, waterproof coffee mug warmer to put an end to their constant game of finally sitting down with their coffee just to realize it's cold and needs to be microwaved, again. Nothing is more upsetting than trying to have a warm drink just to realize it's lukewarm at best.
24. A Celestial One Line a Day journal so they can finally stick to a journal without being overwhelmed by the thought of writing multiple pages a day. After five years they can take a stroll down memory lane with these quick little blurbs from every day.
25. A pack of ultra-moisturizing face masks formulated with rich extracts and soothing essences to hydrate their skin while also bringing a smile to their face from the adorable characters.
26. A lace and mesh bodysuit with a satin waist band that is loved by reviewers of all different body shapes and sizes.
27. An awesome portable mini projector that uses LED lights to deliver 1080p full HD so they can have an epic movie theater experience in the comfort of their own home.
28. A crystal wine decanter so they can impress all their guests at their next dinner party with their ~classy~ drink choices.
29. A collection of the best New York Times crosswords categorized by day of the week so they can choose whether they want an extra challenge (from the Sunday edition) or something more simple (from earlier in the week).
30. A pack of Cleverfy Aromatherapy Shower Steamers so every shower they take can become a spa-like experience with a scent to match their mood.
31. A dazzling disco ball planter to bring a little extra ✨sparkle✨ into their house and make their plants the envy of every other plant in the neighborhood.
32. A bike helmet designed to look like a baseball cap so they don't have to worry about choosing between fashion and safety when they hop on their bike to head off to work.
33. A gorgeous 20-piece set of hair barrettes, each unique and beautiful in its own way, so they can have a different look every day until next Valentine's Day.
34. A splurge-worthy (and *delicious*) Truff Spicy Lovers Pack complete with Truff's hotter hot sauce, white hotter hot sauce, and black truffle arrabbiata pasta sauce. The only thing better than this gift would be if you used it to create them a delicious meal.
35. A super cool mirror surface, LED display digital clock so they can ditch their boring old clock and swap it out for this multi-functional one. It is equipped with a dimming mode (with three levels of brightness) and a dual USB port so they can charge their phone.
36. A thoughtful little fill-in-the-blank journal you can fill with everything you love about them and your relationship to really knock their socks off. It may not seem like much, but trust me, these types of sentimental gifts are the best.
37. A bottle of Mike's Hot Honey to add a little sweetness and spiciness to their drinks, desserts, snacks, or whatever else they can possibly think of.
38. An Amazon Fire TV Stick so they can finally upgrade from their basic cable to pretty much any streaming service they could ever want. Bonus if you include your Netflix password, that's like the modern-day version of giving them your house key.
39. A set of four copper Moscow mule mugs that are so aesthetically pleasing they won't want to put them away in their cabinets. I guess they'll just have to keep it out all the time…maybe even constantly filled with Moscow mules...
40. An adorable Baby Yoda night-light to upgrade their boring, old, regular nightlight so they can get a good little chuckle every time they take a nighttime trip to the bathroom.
41. A pair of ultra-plush and fluffy slippers so soft and comfortable they won't want to ever take them off. You may need to go ahead and buy two pairs for when they inevitably start wearing them outside and realize they want a strictly indoor pair, too.
42. A cool mist USB humidifier to help bring a little extra ~moisture~ into their room. This has an adjustable mist mode, a water tank that lasts up to 10 hours, a seven-color LED light, and an auto shut-off when it runs out of water.
43. A glass and stainless-steel teapot and infuser that will create the ultimate peaceful vibes while they watch their tea steep, and of course while they are drinking it.
44. A sunset lamp so no matter the time of day or year, they can create a beautiful sunset ambiance in any room. Goodbye seasonal sadness from constantly having gloomy weather coming through the windows.
Check out a TikTok of the sunset lamp in action.
Promising review: "This lamp really exceeded my expectations. I bought it on a whim and honestly wasn't expecting that much, but I'm really happy with it. Feels like it's made of durable, quality material and emits a strong light, but it's not too bright — I use it in the evenings when I'm trying to wind down before bed and it's bright enough to light up my room without feeling like it's going to mess up my sleep cycle. Highly recommend — really does feel like you're watching a lovely sunset :)" —amazon customer
Shipping info: Available on Amazon Prime with 2-day shipping; non-Prime shipping options should still arrive by Valentine's Day. See Amazon's full shipping info here and check the product listing for estimated delivery dates.
Get it from Amazon for $19.99 (available in two styles).
45. A nostalgic Apple Watch stand designed to look just like the handheld video game they had as a kid. Plus this bad boy fits the charger so they can have a perfect spot to charge their watch every night.
46. An absolutely plush oversized hoodie + blanket + sweatshirt, aka The Comfy, so even on the coldest days they can still snuggle up in this unbelievably cozy sweatshirt that will have them wondering why they ever used a boring old blanket.
47. A dishwasher-safe and airtight cold-brew maker so they can stop spending, like, $5 a day on coffee from those wildly overpriced coffee shops.
48. A set of Tea Drops, morsels made of loose-leaf organic tea, raw sugar, and aromatic spices, to help them create the perfect cup of tea every time, without the added waste of a traditional tea bag.
49. A set of stunning handblown champagne flutes that will make them feel extra ~fancy~ every time they have a drink. Who says you have to drink champagne out of these? Personally, I would even fill these up with a nice cold Coke and be living my best life.
50. A linen pillow cover for that person who quotes The Office at *least* once a day. Now they can forever remember one of the most iconic quotes from the whole show (yes, it's so iconic even I, who has never seen it, know of it).
51. A cushioned foam acupressure mat and pillow set so they can finally get relief from the constant back and neck pain they have been suffering.
52. A gold-dipped pendant necklace that will let them rep their home state, or maaayyybbee the state they met you?? 😏
53. An Italian-made whiskey set with six rocks glasses and decanter with a topper. Drinks are now a whole new level of fancy. PLUS, it's dishwasher safe!
54. A mini inflatable tube guy because there is *no way* they can look at this little dude and not giggle. And, if they're feeling extra goofy, imitating him is ~encouraged.~
Promising review: "OMG! I love this guy! These things large and small will ALWAYS make me laugh. My husband bought the desk version for me and I can always count on it to make me laugh. My co-workers love it too. People just stop by to turn him on for a quick pick-me-up. I would recommend getting the AC plug since batteries can run down fast. I think we should create a community of fellow air-dancer-havers and post clips of our little guys dancing to our favorite songs. Anyone in?" —Mark
Shipping info: Available on Amazon Prime with 2-day shipping; non-Prime shipping options should still arrive by Valentine's Day. See Amazon's full shipping info here and check the product listing for estimated delivery dates.
Get it from Amazon for $9.58.
55. A library kit so they can become their own personal library to make sure their friends actually return the books you loaned out. Maybe charging a late fee will really seal the deal?
56. A pack of undies with an assortment of thongs, G-strings, and hipsters to have them ~covered~ no matter what mood they're in that day.
57. A bucket list booklet so they can keep track of all their life goals. Maybe you can even fill out the first few to get the ideas ~flowing~…swimming with dolphins? Traveling to all seven continents? The opportunities are endless.
58. A giant 750 milliliter wineglass that they can literally fill with an E N T I R E bottle (!) of wine aka one glass now equals one serving. Bottoms uppp 🍷
59. A Dr. Ian Malcolm Pop! figurine because Valentine's Day is the sexy holiday and what's more ~sensual~ than Jeff Goldblum with a mostly open shirt?
60. A gorgeous rose-quartz roller and Gua Sha tool so you can give them a spa experience without dropping half a month's salary.
61. A lovable ceramic planter that even includes a real-life plant. Don't worry if they don't have a green thumb, succulents are the easiest to take care of. And if they are really bad at being a plant parent, at least the planter is cute and can be repurposed.
62. A mulberry silk eye mask so you can help create the perfect nap experience for them when they're exhausted from a night up listening to your snoring.
63. A pair of super cute and cozy animal-shaped socks they will never want to take off.
64. A tea tree beard oil for moisturizing, softening, and reducing itchiness in even the most luxurious beards.
65. A Squatty Potty that is the game changer they don't even know they need. They (and their tummy) will be thanking you later.
The reviews used in this post have been edited for length and clarity.