So remember the good old days back in the late 2000s, when Twilight was the only thing that mattered and sparkly vampires ruled the world?
Robert Pattinson aka Edward Cullen was so famous that he brought out the absolute best in fans:
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...
...never mind, it really was just the BEST OF TIMES.
Anyways, because Rob was more famous than, like, Elvis or something, the paparazzi were out of control...
In his recent GQ profile, Rob explained to the author the elaborate ways he would hide from the paps for some goddamn privacy and it's so extra:
During the height of the Twilight madness, he had each of his friends call Ubers while he traded outfits with them in the restaurant bathroom, so that photographers wouldn’t know which car he got into, and then he sent all the Ubers in different directions, because drop dead. He rode around in the trunks of cars “constantly,” he says, because fuck you.
Sounds fun, right? Sometimes the madness really got out of control when Rob was just trying to get the fuck home:
One day, coming home from Venice, he realized he was being tailed. He drove around for hours because he didn’t want anyone to know where his new house was. Finally, as the sun came up, he pulled over and got out of the car and approached one of the photographers. “You’ve gotten your pictures,” he said. “Can I please just go home now?” “No,” the guy told him. “My boss says I can’t come back until I know where your new house is. Sorry, man.” Pattinson never tried to negotiate or appeal to their humanity again.