If you haven't watched Riverdale yet this week, you ABSOLUTELY 100% SHOULD NOT READ THIS POST, OKAY????? GO AWAY!
Okay, don't say I didn't warn you. So, it happened, you guys. Archie was mauled by a bear (lol!!!!) and even though he survived getting buried alive by the Black Hood, being Hiram Lodge's lackey, and PRISON FIGHT CLUB, he looks pretty ding dang dong DEAD. (Warning: This photo shows gratuitous amounts of fake blood.)
i’m sorry... the old archie andrews can’t come to the phone right now why? oh... because he’s dead. #riverdale
Of course, this wouldn't be the first time one of Riverdale's core four looked dead AF. It happened to Jughead and then he was basically biking the Tour De France in the next episode.
So I'm going to break this down a little bit with a few different arguments...
Archie is not dead right? Tell mE ARCHIE IS NOT DEAD. TELL ME.
ARGUMENT 1: Archie is 100% DEAD AND NEVER COMING BACK.
so, archie is dead DEAD.
The writers realized they had written the character of Archie Andrews into a complete hole. They were at a point of no return, and saw that the days of Archie strummin' on his guitar, taking his shirt off at all moments, and being a generally idiotic teenager were over. Plus, with the blossoming Reggie and Veronica chemistry, and the fact that Charles Melton ALSO has abs for days, perhaps Archie wasn't needed anymore? Plus, KJ was sick n' tired of dyeing his hair red and he was ready to go chill on the beautiful beaches of New Zealand.
Probability: 1%
Yeah, I don't buy it. KJ has way too big of a following. Plus, the show is based on ARCHIE COMICS, for forks sake!!!! And to kill off Archie in such a meaningless way on a mid-season episode sounds pretty unlikely to me.
ARGUMENT 2: Archie is ACTUALLY dead, but will come back to life via Sabrina Spellman or as a zombie.
So #Sabrina is going to bring back Archie in the crossover with #Riverdale and trigger 'Afterlife With Archie' which will then supplant #TheWalkingDead as TV's long running zombie drama, right? 👀👀
I mean, the show DOES exist in the same universe as The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina! And now that we're living in a world with a Gargoyle King and a cult farm, it doesn't seem all that implausible to me.
Probability: 15%
While I PERSONALLY think this would be awesome, I don't really believe it's where the show is going. Then again, when I started Season 1 — a show about teens in high school solving the murder of Jason Blossom — I didn't know we'd be where we are today!
ARGUMENT 3: Archie never ACTUALLY died, he was just on the brink of death and the whole thing was just for shock value.
I did some investigating. Archie is not dead. He’s clearly pointing a gun at Hiram here and that hasn’t happened yet! #Riverdale
Some people are pointing to this still from the promo for next week as proof that Archie is still alive. The truth is, that COULD just be a dream or a vision. But, my gut tells me we haven't seen the last of Archie. Sure, he LOOKED dead, but a lot of people have looked dead on TV before. Nothing a quick defibrillator can't resolve, probably.
Probability: 84%
KJ Apa is WAY too popular to be written off this show or turned into a weird zombie, come on people!