1. On being irresistible to women: "All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected."
2. On immigration: "I would build a wall like nobody can build a wall... Nobody can build a fence like me."
3. On vaccinations: "No more massive injections. Tiny children are not horses – one vaccine at a time, over time."
4. On Ebola: "Something very important, and indeed society changing, may come out of the Ebola epidemic that will be a very good thing: NO SHAKING HANDS!"
5. On his hair: "As everybody knows, but the haters and losers refuse to acknowledge, I do not wear a 'wig.' My hair may not be perfect, but it's mine."
6. On Batman: "I went to the opening of The Dark Knight Rises, which is commonly known as 'the Batman movie.' And I'll tell you, it was really terrific."
8. On the people of China: "I know the Chinese. I've made a lot of money with the Chinese. I understand the Chinese mind."
9. On climate change: "This very expensive GLOBAL WARMING bullshit has got to stop. Our planet is freezing, record low temps, and our GW scientists are stuck in ice."
12. On celebrity relationships: "Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog and will do it again – just watch. He can do much better!"
14. On the collapse of society: "I'm not a schmuck. Even if the world goes to hell in a handbasket, I won't lose a penny."