Walked by a man on the street and told him to "smile."Thought about male genitalia and laughed.Womansplained something, i.e., tried to explain something in a way a simple man might be able to understand.Womansplained something you actually don’t even understand.Talked about a man’s physical attributes in front of him as if he wasn’t there.Thought “literally any woman would be better at this job than [specific man].”Told a man to just “finish himself” after sex when you came first.Referred to the male population as “the mens.”Not seen a popular movie because the main character was male.Dreamed about living in a matriarchal society.Invented a time machine for the sole purpose of going backward/forward to a matriarchal society.Trolled a men’s rights blog.Removed all “men” from your vocabulary, (i.e., womyn, congressperson, etc).Used the term “herstory.”Referred to a semester as an “ovester.”Staged a “Girlcott.”Thought that seahorses totally have the right idea re: birth.Thought that praying mantises totally have the right idea re: sex.Dropped a tampon/pad/Diva Cup on the floor just to make surrounding men nervous.Forced a man to bend over and pick up said feminine hygiene products, slapping his bottom and cackling the whole time.Unfollowed/unfriended every man on Twitter/Facebook.Never even followed men on Twitter to begin with.Regularly use the hashtag #BanMen.Not voted for a politician because his testosterone levels would totally affect his decision-making skills.Cut a man’s hair off while he’s sleeping thus destroying his power.Took government-sponsored birth control just to waste men’s tax dollars.Had a boy baby and named it “Cassandra.”Seen the movie “Teeth” more than once.Seen the movie “Hard Candy” more than once.Seen the movie “Enough” more than once and consider J.Lo your idol.Admired Nancy Silberkleit (CEO of Archie Comics who referred to male subordinates as “Penis”)Gone on a date with a man just for the free dinner.Gone on a date with a man just for the sex.Had a conversation with a man while only looking at his package.Researched a cure for “toxic masculinity.”Named a dude’s penis something ~embarrassing~.~Considered~ whether the male genitalia can be ~broken~ in half.Referred to a man over the age of 18 as a “boy.”Bellowed at two men to kiss each other because it would be “hot.”Spread your legs so wide on public transit that nobody, especially a man, could sit next to you.Publicly called out a man’s moose knuckle.Asked a man WHEN he planned on having kids, not IF.Told a man over 40 that he could probably still find a wife.Asked a man if he would rather have a career or be a dad.Told a guy he couldn’t get a raise because his testicles made him too emotional to trust.Started a witch coven.Cackled.Kicked a dude’s ass.Cast a spell on someone who has ever uttered the word “friend zone.”Made a potion from male tears.Yelled at a man to make you a sandwich.Made a man a sandwich (literally turned him into a sandwich).Made lipstick out of a man’s blood.Complimented a man as surprisingly “articulate.”Referred to a book that dealt largely with men’s issues as “dick lit.”Referred to a movie that jacks off to men’s subjectivity as a “dick flick.”Looked at a piece of trash and was reminded of a man.Started watching "Game of Thrones" only after the new “All Men Must Die” ads.Created an entire canon of art that only reflects the female gaze.Maniacally whispered “no one cares” after a man expressed his opinion.Talked over a man in a meeting, because what does he know, right?Pixelated the nipples on a picture of a man to shield the world against their toxic sexuality.Suggested someone was unhappy because they don’t have enough vagina in their life.Structured an entire society around sexualizing men but also refusing to respect them as sexual agents.
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