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1. A sticker that'll speak directly to your tendencies to divert from a game's outlined tasks because you want to see what other shenanigans you can get into. The sentiment can also apply to your habit of leaving dishes in your sink for days because you were too distracted by Netflix. Oops.
2. A board book inspired by the classic video games of the '80s and '90s you might want to add into your library for decor or use to teach your kiddos the essentials of gaming.
3. A download of The Sims 4, a game that ages just as you do — like a fine wine. Maybe as a kid you used it to destroy relationships, but *now* in your 30s you can use it to plan how you want to decorate your actual house. BEST👏GAME👏EVER👏.
4. A mini tower with 10 outlets that'll act as a battery backup so you'll never lose all the progress you made building said home on The Sims.
5. A splurge-worthy mouse designed for serious esports gaming with special features — it's extremely lightweight, has programmable RGB lights, and is ambidextrous.
6. An HDMI splitter, so you won't need to fumble with any cables when you want to switch between your PS4 or Xbox.
7. A Nintendo Switch or Nintendo Switch Lite to help you kick back and relax after a long day — it's about time you got on the Animal Crossing bandwagon (it's certainly not just for kids).
8. And a steering wheel accessory for the Nintendo Switch that'll make you feel like a real racer and be a bit more supportive for your hands so you can truly crush all the kiddos in your life who *think* they have what it takes to be a Mario Kart Champion. Psh.
9. A bag of Death Wish coffee if you're looking to stay up all night (or possibly forever?) playing video games.
10. And a "koffee" mug you won't be able to resist showing off in your next Zoom meeting — even the Gary of your coworkers might just crack a smile at this perfect Pokémon pun.
11. A microphone to provide crystal clear audio if you're a gamer who moonlights as a YouTuber, streaming your gameplay for all to see. Who knows — maybe this'll be your ticket to internet fame!
12. A coffee table book about the history of Hyrule, you'll probably consider spending all of your rupees to get your hands on it.
13. Or a Zelda enamel pin, also known as the most appropriate accessory for any fan of the classic game. You can pop it into your denim jacket and wait to see which other adults give you a knowing head nod when you walk past.
14. A deck of Fallout playing cards to keep you company while you attempt to survive in the aftermath of a virtual nuclear war ... or, like, when you decide to take a break from staring at your screens.
15. A nostalgic set of Nintendo 64 coasters featuring drinking puns that won't need to be blown on in order to function correctly.
16. A 4-foot Street Fighter arcade machine to help you achieve your childhood dreams of owning an arcade — only you can do it from the comfort of your own home.
17. A Dungeons and Dragons essentials kit to help you expand your skills beyond screens and prepare to have creative control over all of your friends as Dungeon Master. This is not just a thing the kids from Stranger Things like — celebs like Joe Manganiello and Vin Diesel are really serious about it.
18. Or a themed tank, perfect if you're too lazy (or busy working a full time job or taking care of your kids) to start up your own game of DnD and prefer to follow along with the Mighty Nein's adventures in Critical Role (guilty).
19. A 1,000-piece video game-themed puzzle to give your significant other a good reason to step away from the video games and bond with you.
20. A ceramic Bulbasaur planter any Pokémon lover will adore since it's handmade, super cute, and certainly won't ~succ~.
21. A Kingdom Hearts Talisman board game for you and your best friend who have been playing the video game version together since it came out in 2002.
22. An Oregon Trail enamel pin that'll transport you back in time to the days you spent hunched over a clunky PC trying to keep you and your ox alive while forging across a river.
23. A carrying case to keep your Switch protected when it's not sitting in the charger and to prove to yourself you are, in fact, a responsible adult who takes care of their belongings.
24. A Twitch hoodie you can wear to represent your favorite place to watch folks like Summit1g and TimTheTatman.
25. A 24-inch curved monitor that'll make you feel like you've left your boring corner of the house and immersed yourself right into the world of your favorite game.
26. A Cana Kit Raspberry Pi, so you'll finally be able to build your own mini computer — at this age you've finally got the knowledge and the funds to do it!
27. A pair of blue-light-blocking glasses, because if you're gaming as much as I think you are you should definitely have a pair of these to help prevent eye strain.
28. A splurge-worthy gaming chair co-designed by Herman Miller and Logitech, so incredible you won't know how you ever lived without it — it was literally designed with science-backed ergonomics to ensure you'll experience the utmost comfort while sitting it in for hours (and hours, if we're being honest).
29. Or a heated massager pillow you can add to your current computer chair to loosen up the knots you've acquired from sitting there far too long.
30. A HyperX gaming keyboard that features a customizable rainbow backlight and that'll make anyone say, "Ooooh!"
31. And HyperX's Cloud II gaming headset, so you can continue to defend your honor while playing Among Us with your friends, who *always* say you're acting sus (and for good reason because, joke's on them, you actually ARE the imposter).
32. Cable clips to attach to your many charging wires to finally form a manageable system that won't have you fumbling to untangle cords every time you want to charge your phone or another device.
33. Or a double extension cord so you can run an endless amount of power throughout your home without trying to track down another outlet.
34. A Microsoft Surface Book 3, because it's essentially a tablet and a computer mixed into one gadget that'll truly blow your mind.
35. A Lego version of the classic Nintendo system you likely had as a kid — now you can build it (dare I say, with your kid?) and display it in your office proudly.
36. And a 64-piece iFixit kit for when your most-used gadget gives out and you'd rather try to repair it yourself than buy a new one. Practical purchases that'll save you money in the long run?! You are an adult, after all!
Alright, back to "work" and by "work" I mean pwning teenage noobs in Halo.
